I had a girl bring a guy friend along on our first date without giving me a heads up for the same reason. I was like, ok that’s a little weird but whatever. I’m certainly not going to give someone shit for doing something that makes them feel comfortable. Ended up chatting it up with the guy friend who turned out to be super cool.
So me and the girl end up seriously dating after a while and she later tells me that she spent most of our first date trying to subtly get her friend to leave so that she could spend more time with me.
Lol there’s got to be a term that’s the inverse of cockblocking. Maybe like cockenabling for something.
Wingman is the term you’re looking for.
But in my date’s opinion, he was clam jamming her!
deleted by creator
But clam jamming is what you wanted to do, so he was helping,lol.
Ok thats nice
This happened to me, but we all went back to my apartment and played Smash Bros. I did not get laid and I have no regrets.
Man, I think I’d prefer that outcome. Getting laid is easy compared to finding fun people to game with
What character did you play?
Fox only. No items. Final Destination.
If this had happened to me there’s a zero percent chance I wouldn’t have taken a shot at the threesome at some point.
Opportunities don’t come along like this every day.
It wouldn’t bother me if somebody wanted to bring a friend on a date. However, I would communicate that it would change the dynamic into a “hangout” over a traditional “date” for me. The difference being that a date carries romantic intent and a hangout is for the sake of connecting with others without romantic expectations. Also, a hangout means everybody pays for themselves.
This takes the pressure off by lowering the stakes since it’s now just a casual hangout between peers. It also has the benefit of making the third not feel excluded as a third wheel but a welcome part of the group.
Last time a chick brought a friend with her, I got on better with the friend… And I went home with the friend. Pro tip, if youre bringing a friend. Dont make it a friend thats better to talk to than you are.
I say get it while you can, you don’t turn your back on love, no no no. -Janis Joplin
Or do.
I had a girl cancel and reschedule our first date shortly before we were supposed to meet up. That date happened, and she confided in me that she’d done that on purpose to gauge my reaction and general demeanor before actually coming out to meet me. I respected that move, and I think I would have been okay with her bringing a friend instead, as long as it was just the once.
Anyway, that was eight years ago, we’re married now.
Nice that it worked out but deception and playing games would be a huge red flag for me. Nothing about that instance in particular, it’s just that I’d always wonder “is this situation for real or another trick?”
Maybe the immediate followup fixes it. You were strangers then after all. And after eight years of course you know what you’re working with haha
Damnit now I’m just rambling to myself, carry on!
Or does he?
Look at this dude… Being happy
Quick! Scan his post and comment history to find something to bring him down!!
Weakness identified!
I bet he misses a lot of MtG sessions. 😏
Who do you think you are, flexing your relationship like that.
You’re a dumbass for playing along with such insane bullshit but I’m glad it worked out for you.
I don’t think “begrudging women a single test to see if someone is the type to explode over a single inconvenience” is the right hill to stick your flag on.
Trying to start a relationship by playing games is very much a good place to find red flags.
It might seem like a game to you but that’s someone’s life.
Do you have an alternative for how they should determine if a potential partner is a danger? Besides hiring a private detective or rolling the dice by finding out after they’re invested?
If you can’t trust a stranger even a little bit then don’t date complete strangers. Limit your dating pool to your circle of friends, friends of friends, people you already know or that your friends vouch for.
That is so utterly devoid of empathy that I have nothing left to say to you.
Yeah, lack of empathy on her side, I know. If you think your date is a potential rapist/murderer/… then why are you trying to date them?
Yeah, I’d say it’s a red flag except there are a ton of crazies that this quickly filters for them and keeps them safe from.
So in an ideal world it would be bad, but it makes sense in the one we live in.
Mr. Fancy-look-at-me-i’m-married-pants
I think if someone implied they were bringing someone without at least asking, as this person did, I would match their rude energy and say “I did not agree to that, so here are my boundaries.”
The way the other party phrased it would annoy the shit out of me. 'I’m bringing my best friend." Ok, so why don’t you date them? Causes way more friction than asking “Hey, I know it’s unconventional but I would like a friend to be there just for my safety since we don’t know eachother yet.”
You are not wrong. But I think you are being an asshole about it. You could have said “that is cool, but I’m not paying for her food” and is it. No need to be rude.
I could never feel safe on a date with someone who censors swear words in screenshots they post to the fucking Internet.
Grey text is looking out for their safety, good for them. Blue text is clearly communicating their boundaries, good for them. Neither is phrasing their needs as I would, but that’s small potatoes. I’d rather date either of these people than most of the ones replying in this thread.
Who gives out money on a first date? Go have walk somewhere.
It took me far too long to realize what “apeach” or “abutt” meant
Clbuttic mistake to make
I remember when a date auction at my college worked this way, the girls always came in pairs. When I thought about it afterwards, it made sense, but it still made me feel just apprehensive enough in the moment - being outnumbered in a moment of social vulnerability - that I didn’t bid on anyone.
The idea of paying for a date is weird to me but in that scenario I guess the bright side is twice as many girls to potentially hit it off with at once.
If it matters, the money in that case was going to a charitable cause, not the people you’d date.
Yeah, I get it, it’s still kind of weird to me. If I have to pay for a woman’s attention who wouldn’t be interested otherwise I’d just assume not bother her with it.
deleted by creator
It would be such an ego booster watching people bid higher and higher on you. On the flip side you could end up the Reject section.
Plot twist. Mate drops the og girl and falls for her friend.
Ass
I’m still fucked off that this is where we’re headed as a society - computers deciding what obscenities we can handle
So fucking true like why the fuck do all of these damn corposhit platforms fucking hate random ass words just because advertisers are scared as fuck of having their crap advertised next to them?? I’ve actually fucking seen these cunts censor “stole” and “bullet”, what is this damn bullshit?? Shut your fucking asses up stupid corpobitches and stop fucking whining about random fucking words!! Random shitty ads that people block anyway are your fucking reason for annoying the hell out of people who happen to use these words? I will fucking kill these fucks with a fucking gun - they even censor “kill” and “gun” because advertisers are SO FUCKING FRAGILE that they cannot take any fucking mention of death or violence. The shitty enshittified shit platforms owned by billionaire shitheads are ASS and the fediverse’s war against them needs to be fucking accelerated or we won’t be allowed to say “glass” anymore because shards of glass can fucking hurt you and the jackasses will think that this means that the damn word will need censoring into oblivion. Or maybe the fragile fuckers will lobby to make using these fucking words illegal like the damn UAE has it. Fuck you corpobitches 🖕🖕🖕
meme with stole censored
Hey, you can’t say “hell”, that’s a bad word >:c
She would lucky if I even showed up. NGL if there is that much distrust from the get, I’m not into it.
Mine was not a comment about the contents of the discussion, merely about the censorship of the word ASS
Fair enough
Has a date where some chick brought her friend ever resulted in a good date?
Sounds like setting yourself up to create conflict in a relationship that doesn’t even exist yet.
There’s no other way to read this besides “I think you are a horrible person so I need protection on our public date, why am I going on a date with a horrible person? I wanted dinner”
That’s how it reads every single time, and men are expected to be cool with it, or they are proven to be horrible like previously assumed.
It doesn’t matter if they made themseves afraid of men or not. It’s a set of ideals rooted in misandry, and it doesn’t help women or men.
Yes. As a dude I recognize that a woman going on a date with a random person is and feels dangerous to most women. I am more than happy to go on a group date or hang out with friends she feels comfortable with for first bit of getting to know a person for like a month to first couple dates. Then once we are looking to know each other closer we can have more private dates. That being said I shouldn’t be expected to pay for anyone’s experience but my own in these dates or hangouts. Maybe my dates but even still definitely not the friends.
I recognize that a minority of men are assholes.
There’s no mature reason for a friend to come on the date in a public place.
The reasons stated are that men are violent animals and need to be vetted and I need physical protection from them even in public.
That’s not valid
It’s a set of ideals rooted in misandry, and it doesn’t help women or men.
Sounds like setting yourself up to create conflict in a relationship that doesn’t even exist yet.
WTF are you on about, mate?
There’s no other way to read this besides “I think you are a horrible person so I need protection on our public date, why am I going on a date with a horrible person? I wanted dinner”
There absolutely is another way to read it and it’s: “there are lots of horrible people and I wanted to make sure you’re not one of them”.
I guess you reacting to this post in that way puts you bang in the middle of one of those two categories…
What are you on about?
I just don’t think it’s healthy to assume every man is a psycho and then make them prove otherwise, especially if you want to try dating them.
Luckily, I’m a married lesbian so i don’t have to deal with this stupid shit.
I just don’t think it’s healthy to assume every man is a psycho and then make them prove otherwise, especially if you want to try dating them
It’s a bit difficult to determine just from online interactions, don’t you think?
“Dating” doesn’t mean what it used to mean. These days “dating” means “I swiped right, we talked for an hour or two and now we’re meeting for the first time”.
As long as the other person is upfront about it, I wouldn’t be weirded out if they brought a friend to feel better, honestly, no fucking clue who would have an issue with that. Because it’s not about “all men”, it’s about “I’m meeting a stranger”.
If you’re the person who sees that situation as an attack, you’re better off leaving the other party alone.
I mean, that’s sure one way. I have never used a dating app, been on plenty of dates, and am in my 20’s.
Nah it’s better if people who want to date act like adults.
There are some men who don’t mind being profiled, but being treated like a predator by default in a safe setting is insulting.
I don’t know about you, but when someone even implies I might be a terrible person I get extremely offended
Yeah, I don’t, because I have enough empathy and intelligence to realise that people who don’t know me… well, don’t know me - and there absolutely are dangerous people out there.
In short: pull your head out of your arse, it’s not about you.
Sure, the danger is real and that people need to protect themselves
It’s also incredibly offensive to do it directly.
The polite thing to do is make being safe a matter of course. It’s very normal to meet in public, it’s normal to do checkup texts, it’s fine to do a group activity if it’s a group activity. We’ve spent decades normalizing subtle ways to do this
There’s a degree of social hygiene necessary, or society falls apart.
It’s also incredibly offensive to do it directly.
Only if you’re incredibly insecure about yourself.
The polite thing to do (…)
Overall - I agree, to certain degree. In my opinion, however, society is already “falling apart” due to how social media trains younger people for immediate gratification, everything is fast. Dating is also fast, and people don’t want to “waste time” on “incompatible people”.
Dating these days is “let’s have a date and see what happens”, not “let’s get to know each other and see if we want to date”.
Also, lots of people are pretty lonely, so “group activity” is not possible for them.
Only if you’re incredibly insecure about yourself.
Bullshit. This is hardwired into our brains. False accusations hurt, but only when you can’t imagine yourself doing what you’re accused of.
If someone doesn’t bristle at being treated like a wild animal, that’s a huge red flag. They’re not confident, either they’re manipulative or they could see themselves warranting the protection. They’re probably not an immediate threat, but that is what a future abuser looks like
And what good is having a friend next to you as opposed to nearby? That’s not safer… What, do you think they’re going to grab someone out of the coffee shop and run?
There’s lots of normal reasons to have someone you know nearby. You can get dropped off and picked up, have a friend in the area doing things. If you have bad vibes, stay in the damn coffee shop and have your friend come in and get a drink.
You can go somewhere you know a worker. You can get to know a place and spend time with the staff so you have a safe ground.
I’ve had someone introduce me to their co-workers before walking to a cafe a few doors down, that was a positive experience, because it was very friendly and I could feel I just passed a bunch of vibe checks… I didn’t even consider that there was a handful of people who saw my face and had eyes on the car I drove up in nearby until much later
That’s about as safe as you could ever be, and it wasn’t offensive at all, because it was natural and affirmative. It feels good when people notice I’m a good person, and I think having a community is cool.
At the end of the day, no one is ever truly safe, but having community around is how you make yourself safer.
And I really do mean the manipulator thing, if someone doesn’t react at all to an implication like that, that’s a red flag… Honest people get angry at accusations, guilty ones get calm, manipulators use that information
