I don’t drink coffee, where does that put me?
Where’s the option for tea?
That’s monarchism
or worse, colonialism
You’re specifically the British or English local party of whatever your tendency is, then. Tendency probably depends on whether you use individual mugs or a teapot, how you heat the water, and whether you use teabags or looseleaf, and if looseleaf, the exact way that you put it into the water and remove it from the steeped tea.
(Or, you’re a modern Chinese commie, see the pics of Xi with two teacups in front of him. But I like the British party branch joke better. Took me longer to write.)
Where is the option for 5 energy drinks and heart palpitations?
Welcome to the situationist international.
Oh no, that’s anarcho-capitalist, you’ve come to the wrong club.
Where’s the option for two scoops of shitty processed instant coffee? Black.
A woman of taste, I see
I need that damn drug or I want to kill everyone I see
deleted by creator
That would be Bonglerite
The worse it tastes the better
Half of this stuff is burgerland crimes against humanity that in any sane country wouldn’t even be considered methods of coffee preparation
burgerland crimes against humanity is when percolation
Burger particles detected
Pour over is a German invention. Reflexively ascribing Americanism to something you think is decadent and bad is a form of American exceptionalism
half of this stuff
Guys, don’t drink that coffee! There’s a fish in the percolator!
You should see how Americans make tea. It’s even worse.
I know it involves microwaves and that’s all I can bear to remember
Microwaves are the practical answer, very ergonomic and efficient device that vibrates water particles. The most popular choice is to buy a separate electric water heater, followed by boiling water on the stove. People in america believe that microwaves are inferior and dangerous, ruining anything you put into it and giving you radiation poisoning – which is just bourgeois nonsense.
I use an electric kettle for boiling water for tea/coffee, which is a common household appliance where I live. Microwaves are mostly used for reheating food, rarely beverages.
Yep. It’s so weird to me that Americans don’t seem to have electric kettles all that often, since they’re quite common in a lot of places, including my country.
The moka pot being leftcom is very accurate considering how many insufferable leftcoms there are in Italy.
Instant coffee equal parts sugar and water, whipped into a thick foam and served into a hot liquid with powdered non dairy cream. So, prison abolitionist.
i guess i gotta up my bunker building
I have a normal drip coffee machine (ML) but it’s a goofy one with an internal karaffe so it looks like a keurig (Trot)
Feel free to invent a new tendency
Feel free to invent a new tendency
Like the Trots keep doing? (Party splits)
Or… Trot pretending to be a proper ML… I’ve run into a few of those. Most Trots are proud of being Trots (they shouldn’t be, but at least it makes 'em easy to spot and ignore), but there’s a few weirdos out there…
sounds Marcyite to me
laughs maniacally in instant coffee
They had a sale on Beanie’s at the HomeGoods
How could I say no to coffee that tastes like smores?
You’re the People’s Republic of Walmart.
I would defend my good friend Mr Coffee to the death. I also whisper secrets to it in the middle of the night, just in case the CPC truly is spying on me through it’s hot plate.
You should read the Communist Coffee Maker story on NotAlwaysRight. I also seem to remember another story I saw online where clueless Americans accused the CPC of spying on them through cheap coffee machines made in China… like a good 90% of cheap consumer crap on Turtle Island. It’s not just coffee machines! It’s all bloody made in China! But they’re not worried about any other consumer goods spying on them…
No fellow hoxhaists?
My cat, Leon Trotsky, knocked by French Press off the counter, so I’m back to instant.
I do love f**** press
Real marxists dump coffee grounds into their mouth, grind them to fine dust using their bare teeth(trained using capital), and then pouring the hot water into their mouth, boiled from a white maoist anger. They then let the mixture sit for exactly 10 paragraphs of theory reading and spewing it out, drink from a cup they stole from a liberal
exactly 10 paragraphs of theory reading
I’d probably have to up that to properly time a cup of coffee… my mum says I read too fast.
What even are all these bougie contraptions
Drip machine, espresso machine, star trek replicator, v60, chemex, moka pot, Nespresso machine, French press. There’s a billion ways to extract coffee (beverage) from coffee (bean) and this is some of the more popular ones, plus replicators which I imagine skip the extraction step.
What if I make my coffee in an offbrand Keurig-style pod brewer, but instead of buying pods, I use refillable pod inserts?
It’s got to be something weird. Wait, goddamnit, am I Juche?
