Making that 750 casualties claim by Iran seem more and more likely
is this helping the imperial machine or can i take this job to get selfies with the rip bozos with a clear conscience?
Just clog up some toilets and start a laundry fire or two and you’re good
Do they launder the clothes in the mortuary before they send them back out yet?
I was about to come here and ask.
Imagine you’re in charge of a post revolution military tribunal. I come in with a shit eating grin on my face. I go “I loved working with dead boots; do what you gotta do.”
Am I walking or is it Joever for me?
here i made a mosaic dickbutt out of pictures of dead troops
Revolutionary military tribunals are probably more geared towards speed than they are at fact finding. What you want to do is plead your case to someone prior to appearing in front of any kind of tribunal. If you fall out of the coconut tree the day of your hearing then you’re probably going to wind up on the wall.
yeahhhh that’s kinda why I had my probably-lib-seeming “uhhh they all deserved it, right?” comment when people were posting about the Barbara pit massacre
Okay as funny as this is, the actual job is to spin every pointless death as heroically as possible, to help maintain morale on the home front, so yes it’s helping the imperial machine. Doing good and honest work would see you immediately thrown under a bus.
yes it’s helping the imperial machine.
I dunno, is it? It’d be doing what the imperialist machine wants at a purpose that it thinks helps it, but personally I’m not sure having a populace with absolutely no clue what’s actually happening actually benefits it in the long run
i.e. say you lie about all the deaths being heroic/good/they died getting sucked off/whatever, you convince a new wave of baying hogs to enlist, they all go die too, rinse repeat. it’s what the U.S. would want but at the same time I do not think it is benefited long term by simply throwing its population into a meat grinder when there’s no chance of that yielding any tangible benefit aside from all the newly ground meat
part time cuz it doesn’t take long to wrap em in canvas and push the pile overboard with a skidsteer. can usually knock out a few dozen per hour. RIP
Wow it’s called burial at sea and it’s an ancient maritime tradition you don’t have to make it sound crass but I shouldn’t have expected better from the 'murica-haters here SMDH. Now help me load these corpses before the next wave of drones incoming, I only got 4 hours of sleep last night in a room I share with 9 of the angriest brainwashed young adults that couldn’t outrun a recruiter and I think hear lawnmower engines.
Wow my parents are right, there’s opportunities everywhere if you just know where to look
Part-time.
Body part time :kelly:
Job creation.
Iran is definitely reloading more guns faster than anyone in history right now
Hey, you know why the Navy is hiring morticians instead of undertakers?
spoiler
They figure the Iranians have got that covered! Get it, 'cause they’re gonna sink the ships…under the water?
You could’ve at least said they’re going to take the ships underwater.
Seems like this would have been better to procure through contracting.
I forget, are morticians the ones where there’s no actual qualifications needed to be one or am I thinking of undertakers?
I believe if they’re actually embalming the bodies they need a license, but for everything else they can do with no qualifications.
Mortician is actually an absurd and underpaid job. It barely pays like $20 an hour and you have to haul rotting corpses out of apartments, consolingly small talk with the loved ones of the deceased, do salesmanship to sell caskets and services, embalm the bodies. None of these roles have any overlap in skills needed, it’s all over the place and extremely traumatic for most people and pays like dogshit
I would imagine the caskets kinda sell themselves though
But not the upselling for the premium model using the better hardwoods with the titanium handles with the finer interior details including mini-bar and gold inlay.
Don’t forget fake airtight.
Shit I would love a minibar in my casket. Gotta reward the graverobbers
When my uncle was cremated I was involved in casket selection. He was always pragmatic and wouldn’t have wanted to spend anything on it if possible (he’s already dead after all) so we went with the cheapest option which was a cardboard box. It was still $100 and the rep definitely tried to push one of the significantly more expensive options.
I always assumed the funeral industry paid better given
how much of a scamprofitable it is, and due to the nature of the work.Nah had a friend who worked as a mortician and even had the license to embalm and was paid $22/hour. He had a mental breakdown from the stress and trauma and was fired
The administrators on the other hand…
Around here their vehicles are a lime green corvette with a vanity plate LAST2SEEU
And a modern high end SUV with vanity plate RIPT1NA
I’m not sure what my official title was but I worked at a funeral home during college. My main task was “house calls” where I’d get called at all hours of the night to pick up a dead person from wherever they dropped at and bring them to the funeral home. It was primarily elderly people or those on hospice care, pretty much anything the first responders didn’t think warranted further investigation. It paid $90 a call for an hour or two of easy work so it was a pretty decent alternative to flipping burgers or retail. I also got paid $14 or so an hour to assist with funerals or picking people up from hospitals, didn’t care for that part as much. This was a very small town almost 10 years ago so the pay was quite good by my standards at least, I think minimum wage was $7.50 at the time.
Pretty decent gig overall, I’d honestly recommend it over everything else I did before graduating. I didn’t mind the dead people at all, it was dealing with the living I struggled with
Does it pay well?
I should apply
“Cause of death: laundry fire”
