Reminds me of the time my dad wanted to get me a cheap starter car, so we went to this used car lot where the salesman had us follow him to a “Storage Site” that was clearly an abandoned warehouse to show me a rather pristine 1983 Toyota Corolla that he “needed to move quick” so he offered to repaint it as an incentive if we bought it then and therer
My dad got him to agree to $500 and that car was mine by the end of the day
If you take good enough care of it, that could be the last car you’d ever own.
If Johnny No-Nose took good enough care of the brake lines, that could also be the last car you’d ever own.
Alas, my dad sold it to a friend so I could afford a moped
That friend is still with us, as far as I know
“Yours”
I’m curious, did you ever look up the vin?
Nope, I was 18 and my dad was not a man to look a gift horse in the mouth
That being said, once I had learned to drive (took me s few months), he ended up selling it for $3000 to one of his friends and used that money to get me a moped
That came from a more reputable dealer, who nonetheless looked more like a mafioso than the guy who sold us the car
did it run good or did the frame turn into iron dust as soon as it left the lot?
It lasted me long enough to learn how to drive and pass my driving exam
For the six months I owned it, it ran pretty damn good
Can’t say I ever had any runins with mafia but I did have a landlord who murdered his crack friend by
description of murder
stabbing him a dozen times, running him over, reversing over him, and stabbing him again another bunch of times.
I did a runner from that particular landlord when he stood in a doorway blocking my exit from the flat wielding an axe, I hit the guy so hard on the chin that he folded in on himself and just sort of crumpled, came back 2 days later with a friend and grabbed what we could quickly. This would have been exactly the time in-between the murder and his eventual arrest for that murder a couple months later.
I’d never really hit anyone like that before or since tbh it was a real situation of fear for life. I’ve been in fights but you’re not really hitting someone with intent to do as much damage as humanly possible in fights, whereas when someone’s blocking your exit from your 1 room flat with an axe you just sort of give it absolutely everything. I think about it sometimes and had it gone any differently I don’t think I’d be here.
Sorry that happened to you but also I’m glad you get to have this amazing story. Better not be fake
Nah it’s cool I barely remember it now, almost like it’s another life I’m remembering lmao.
Got a phonecall from him after we grabbed my stuff going off about standing in my empty room, the neighbouring room had grassed me up and called him. We just missed him.
There was another time that he saw me out and about a couple weeks later we were drinking out in the streets like the punk rats we were but I was really into skating at the time and absolutely fit as fuck he had no chance catching me I was like Usain Bolt lmao.
Long time ago now. I haven’t talked about this in a really long time too. I’d post news articles about this shithead and his murder but it would identify me so easily whereas none of this is enough to really dig it up I think.
Wild. People can be nuts.
Lol, atleast charge a nominal fee, it’s way more suspicious for a pizza place to just give away pizza. Like ask for 10 bucks and get a pack of smokes for you and Jimmy No Ears.
Used to be the money laundering joints were the best restaurants because they didn’t need to turn a profit.
If they do that, they have to report it to the IRS, though. That’s basically how they caught Al Capone.
thats what the pizza shop is there for in the first place, to launder money
they mark dirty money as cash sales and report that to the irs
IN my city there was a case in which cops did watch a joint for a couple of days multiple days per week. They noticed that the amount of real customers was much much lower than the earnings reported. So they took quite a bit of money and had that money laundering charge.
clearly they didnt note that the pizzas sold had gold flakes and caviar
Cash only duh
Always pay taxes on crime money
In Panama there’s this hostel I stayed at. It’s run by an Italian-American from New Jersey. He smuggles cocaine on charter boats out of Colombia. I’m almost certain that’s the closest I’ve been to an actual mobster.
That’s just agent Gigante from the CIA’s Colombia department
Plenty of mafia shit in my town. Most of the bigger families went petit-bougzwah(sp?). I did spend a night drinking with a guy that likely did some grunt work for them and I was genuinely concerned for my safety.
The Sopranos is one of the most interesting shows to me, not because of the story or themes, but because it shows how far the mafia has devolved. Yeah they’re still thugs and murderers and abusers, but they lost all that classy intimidation. Now it’s just a bunch of boat sellers who don’t report to the IRS living in McMansions and LARPing as high class ballers
Petty burgersea
Peteet booysooahh
Petey Borjoisey
Pete Buttigieg
Peethy boojwaaaah
bourgeWASP
bour geo is i.e.
B(ro) our Geo (like a globe/world) is International Exploitation (of the working class)!
Is how I remember it.
It’s kinda crazy, cause that’s the best my autocorrect could cone up with. I was like, this is wrong, but I can’t do muh better.
*Burgozee
Burger Z
I just say “small business tyrant”
The pub I used to frequent was so obviously a money laundering scheme for drugs. Cheapest drinks in town, cash only, served anyone including underage people, and tolerated a very rough crowd. It was genuinely quite a nice pub because aside from the criminal activity there were a lot of regulars who liked the cheap drinks and the bartenders, but we stopped going there because there were too many creeps. The owner got arrested for drug dealing last year but the pub is still open
He didn’t talk. He’ll get a cell with no mate if he requests it. When his time is done he’ll get picked up he’ll have a place to stay while he completes probation if he even gets probation. When a drug ring takes better care of you then any government could makes you wonder why the fuck he would talk.
Visiting “Gladio’s Real Italian Pizzaria” and discovering it’s a front smdh
What if instead of Mafia it was MYfia? Hmmm?
Smdh you sjws where is the PAfia?
Also “Dominic the Donkey” was playing.
In Arg the most common money laundering shop are places that only sell cell-phone cases. Huge places with zero clients, and the only times I ever stepped in one they never had anything I went looking for.
my mom knew a woman in the Russian mob whos husband went “missing” after he had an affair.
Nicky No-Fingers was like: “I’ve been a waiting this my whole-a adult life-a!”
Nicky No-Fingers
How did he talk without his fingers…? His buddy come up behind him and use his own hands?
He wields the limbs of his fallen enemies
He was assisted by Two-Talk Tony, they’re a buddy comedy duo
not LCN, but once i was wrapping up a touring vacation in a big metro area of the southwestern US and was staying with a broke friend from college for a few days until my flight. i was crashing on his couch in some illegal housing in an interesting part of town. he was at work one day and i’m just bored, and need a haircut, so i look up the street view nearby to find a haircut joint. i find a barbershop within a 10 minute walk that had major nuestra familia vibes from the name and decoration. i adopted my best “dumb white guy” face and go for it.
it’s midday on a weekend, front door unlocked, lights not really on and i walk in. the joint is completely empty except this younger lady [with exquisite makeup, hair, and nails] and two kids eating some takeout and watching TV. most of the barber chairs have like boxes of stuff sitting in them. there’s just unmarked boxes of stuff everywhere. i ask if they’re open and if i can get my head shaved and if they take credit. yes to all, but with a bored shrug. it took like 40 minutes for her to find the equipment she needed (some cheap disposable razors and cheap shave cream) and do the thing. i had shaved my head less than two weeks earlier, so it wasn’t long. by the end i had a bunch of little cuts, and she had to find the credit card machine to plug it in. it cost like $45. i left a $5 tip. i was like, “who cares, i’m on vacation” though i had no idea what it was going to cost until she showed me the receipt after i had been charged. lol.
when my friend got back from work i told him i got a haircut at that place and he exploded in laughter. he’d been living there for 3 years and described that place as “no joke.” he had wanted to check it closer, but he was rocking hair down to his ass and going for some personal best so he had no excuse.
This is anti-italian racism.
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I once bought a set of tyres from an auto shop run by some Palestinian guys who are part of an extended crime family who runs most of the underworld in my city. The price was competitive, the mechanics were nice and I’m planning of going to them again the next time I have car trouble.
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