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For some reason the bank won’t let me take out an 8 figure loan to start my international piracy business. I’ll be starting up a gofundme.
All you need to do is find a stretchy guy made of rubber
You’ve got to stare hard at the bank manager and say, “look at me. I’m the borrower now.”
Hang on, I’ll ask my bank to give me a small loan of $20 million. I’m sure they will not laugh in my face and tell me to go fuck myself.
The guy I had told me to pull myself up by the bootstraps and I ended up finding $20 mil in my sock
Power of hard work and sacrifice right there, a true testament to the spirit of capitalism. If you can, all can.
Thank you mister president. I really want to thank you for what you’ve done for social media, politics, reality tv, MaCaulay Culkin, Chik-Fil-A, McDonald’s, diapers, Elongated Muskrats, (REDACTED), (REDACTED), (REDACTED), and the rest of you know whats up (REDACTED)
(END OF TRANSMISSION)
Maybe If you cut back on morning coffee and avocado toasts, you wouldn’t need a $20 million loan.
The way economy is heading, this might be an accurate statement.
Have you tried asking mom and dad?
Nah, they’ll laugh at first, but then you’ll get taken upstairs and Jamie will open a bottle of your favorite Tequila, telling you that he thinks you need an even bigger credit line than you applied for.
Wait, you don’t run a wildly unprofitable company “worth” several billion dollars where you can use your equity as collateral for the credit line? Welp, sounds like a you problem.
Not a me problem. I blame my parents for trying to be good humans and teaching values instead of just enslaving people in apartheid-ridden emerald mines.
Tbh this particular joke was a reference to the WeWork fiasco and specifically the show WeCrashed, where the founder goes into JPMorgan Chase and asks for a 50 million line of credit after being pre-approved for 20k, then asks the clerk to google him and then gets brought to the bank’s CEO instead.
Of course, Adam Neumann was also a huge fraud, comparable to Musk in that both have been known to promise the world and deliver shit.
Just ask your Dad, dude.
Yeah I’ll just take a small loan of 20 million dollars from my normal worker parents…
I love the idea of a bunch of rando’s purchasing LNG shipping and just thinking… step one, done… step two, profit!
it’s so fantastically complex it’s hilarious
And then draw the rest of the fucking owl
Step 1: Buy LNG tanker
Step 2:
Step 3: Profit
Where do you even get a loan for just a million?
Probably not out of line for a house these days. You can borrow the down payment from your boomer parents if they take out a heloc on their house.
Payments are going to be a bitch at about $10k per month though with insurance and taxes lumped into escrow.
man starting a business is hard
For anyone seriously considering this: don’t.
“The LNG market is set to rapidly grow” is a lie. Economies are shifting away from fossil fuels, and i guess by 2040 no metric ton of fossil fuels will be transported anymore.
This is a waste of money. They just want to get rid of their end-of-use LNG tankers. So they are looking for idiots to buy them.
Too late, already bought 5
Wow, you must be loaded. My bank only allowed me to take out a loan for 3.
Use them as an insurance for borrowing for 2 more!
Pfft idk, seems like maybe you just want to buy up all the tankers for yourself.
no no, in fact i can sell you mine, too, if you want to, for a meager $24 million. same model as in the picture
$18,500,350 and you got yourself a deal!
For anyone seriously considering this: how the fuck did you end up with that kind of money in your early twenties? Either you’re business savvy in which case you won’t consider this or daddy’s rich in which case you should talk to your dad first.
You get a small loan of 20 million dollars from your
patents, parents obviouslyI’ll assume you mean parents because you’d have to be one heck of an inventor
Yeah, but preferably both
or find the right sucker
Considering the value of the cargo, if you had that type of money to throw around, you could probably make a pretty profit. Fully loaded one of these tankers holds between $100,000,000 to $200,000,000 of LNG.
Assuming a modest 3% profit margin, though I suspect that you could achieve 5% easily, you’d pay back the ship with 4 full shipments. Since at 3% you’d have 6 million in profit per trip.
by 2040 no metric ton of fossil fuels will be transported anymore
I seriously doubt it. Many countries are decarbonising like the UK has by getting rid of coal fired power stations and switching to renewables plus gas, because gas is a good way to solve the intermittency issues you get with many renewables. 2040 is not very far away, on that timescale the demand for LNG may actually go up.
Could LNG tankers be retrofit to move Hydrogen? I could see some potential there.
Economies are shifting away from fossil fuels, and i guess by 2040 no metric ton of fossil fuels will be transported anymore.
We’ve got far too much legacy infrastructure and far too little public investment to ditch the vast number of small, cheap, highly lucrative LNG electricity plants scattered through North America and Western Europe.
And with energy demand continuously outpacing supply in the near future, even the green power we do build will be absorbed by the electricity ravenous date centers we’re constructing.
Me when I spread misinformation online!
I dunno about that. Based on this US data, its use seems to be expanding, even more so than renewables: https://www.eia.gov/energyexplained/us-energy-facts/
This graph in particular shows this:
Buying a boat is a famously good investment
It’s such a good investment that it’s why insurance was invented.
Thanks for the advice!
Break Out Another Thousand
Dump terrifying greenhouse gas methane into the atmosphere at industrial levels, go into debt if you have to.
I’m contributing valiantly to this cause with my farts
You basically just described the energy/economic strategy of most of the world’s countries…
One of my high school teachers retired and bought a river paddle boat to put a restaurant on it. The idea was to cruise the local bay and provide a nice dining experience. Two years into owning it, the hull started leaking quite substantially. Apparently, the hull had not been maintained properly over the years and was now dangerously thin. The boat ended up being scrap. I guess they weren’t bringing in enough profit with it sailing, they didn’t even try to land lock it.
You can’t argue with that price. A new one will set you back 80-250 mil. Crazy that people are sleeping on opportunities like this
I have like 3K, if you come up with the other 19997000 we’re golden.
I’m $100k in the hole due to boomer parents telling me to get student loans for college since they blew all their money on stupid investment schemes, so can I give you an IOU or maybe like a hug or a handshake or something?
boomer parents … blew all their money on stupid investment schemes
Can I talk to your parents? I got a sure thing here.
How about we just do the hug thing and forget about the boat?
Sounds like a solid plan. Just send your 3k over and I’ll let you know they deliver our boat.
Damn, I’m in my late 30s, too late *sadface
Be me Get job as Outbound Sales Consultant for ENGIE No idea how to sell LNG tankers to general public Post to LinkedIn that people should just buy one
Maurice Tessier Barrera - Outbound Sales for Energy Markets - Energy Leads | LinkedIn
I hear LNG tankers are the new Bitcoin.
You misspelled methane the natural gas that kills the populous as lng.
Eh. Methane is worse when it’s released as a gas than when it’s burned and released as carbon dioxide. If you drive by oil refineries in Beaumont, TX, you’ll see them burning off methane–flaring–because it’s a byproduct of oil refining. Is any of this great, or even good? No; any way you slice it, it’s all greenhouse gasses. OTOH, there are far fewer other pollutants with LNG than there are from coal-fired plants, and we don’t yet have the capacity to generate sufficient power using renewables or nuclear. (Meanwhile, a lot of hydro power is at risk because climate change has shifted rain and snow patterns so that rivers and reservoirs are drying up so that we’re losing that source of renewable power.)
yeeeah but:
the impacts of methane releases which spike with burnoff impact the atmosphere for decades. we’re continuing to feed it.
coal - for all it’s wretched problems from heavy metals to black lungs - added particulates that cut down on absorbed heat in the atmosphere.we’re seeing the same unanticipated effect with the move from the worst bunker fuel (high sulphate) may let in more heating energy because we’re taking the worst fine particulate exhausts out… https://www.carbonbrief.org/analysis-how-low-sulphur-shipping-rules-are-affecting-global-warming/
some times you’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t. That said, both the transition to cleaner fuel and the end of coal need to happen, but also we need to start planning for the end of LNG as well.
good luck, have fun friends
I remember the 80s when high sulphur coal was the norm, and we had problem with the sulphur emissions causing acid rain; I def. don’t want to return to that…
Related - I saw a science alert that speculated that we could buy time to cut carbon emissions by seeding the atmosphere with superfine diamond dust; it would both block and reflect solar radiation. The downside? About $250T in cost.
I remember the 80s when high sulphur coal was the norm, and we had problem with the sulphur emissions causing acid rain; I def. don’t want to return to that…
ah yes, my youth…
edit: $250 per ton sounds cheap if it works.
of course it’ll probably blind the penguins or some other horrible shit. monkey’s paw we live in and all.
…I mean, I don’t think my bank’s overdraft policy is gonna let me go THAT deep into debt
It’s okay we’ll pay for the rest in apple cards
What if the front falls off?
well this kind is not meant to do that
Not unless a wave hits it
A wave? At sea? Chance in a million.
but surely they test it for that?
We’ll just tow it outside of the environment
This may be be best bit of all time. I think about it far too frequently.
Better hope you have good insurance, otherwise you’re gonna have to pay for it being towed outside of the environment yourself.
Hello I would like to go into $19.990.000 debt please. I need to buy a LNG tanker for reasons…
Look at you with $10,000 spare. Show-off
I am living the dream!
Surely this is satire, right?
The original was a fancy watch
Interesting! This background story makes it much funnier: https://www.dailydot.com/memes/buy-a-rolex-go-into-debt-if-you-have-to-meme/
Does a regular ol’ Rolex actually ever appreciate?
Never thought of buying one and honestly couldn’t afford at the moment, but maybe start a small collection when I’m 40 or 50 so I’d have something to hand down to the kids besides boring-ass money?
Then again if I really wanted to flex that bad, I could just walk into a Ferrari dealer in shorts and a t-shirt and buy one. If I was rich enough to avoid Rolexes in the first place because apparently a Ferrari is like 4 or 5 watches.
There are certainly better investment options. You don’t see Jeff Bezos sinking his fortune into Rolexi
Oh definitely. You can’t really go wrong with an index fund tbh. I meant that as more of a theoretical: Suppose that you want to leave your (grand)kids something with sentimental value that also appreciates in monetary value, would a Rolex collection fulfill that purpose?
This is true! There is no accounting for sentimentality.
Strangely enough, it both versions makes no sense
