When those memories come up, choose a different response. Laugh at yourself. Forgive yourself. Love yourself.
Any recommended reading on this topic? Choosing a different response when these memories come up is really difficult for me, personally. Even when I acknowledge that I’ve grown as a person since then, the memories themselves still just feel jarringly awful.
I’ve found a lot of success in working through things logically when the painful memories return.
What does this memory teach me?
Have I learned all I can from this memory?
If it has taught me everything it can, I can set this memory aside, as there is no purpose in dwelling on it.
I am a better person because of the lessons learned, thank you memory, you have served me well. You may rest
This puts me in a position of acknowledging my imperfections without suffering long term regret. I can’t change the past, and if I’ve learned from it, then I need to live in the Now, not the Then
I would personally think that Buddhist techniques like mindfulness and meditation would be helpful here.
I don’t know how I really achieved it, but one thing I do remember I did was altering my negative self-talk so I would be alarmed and notice I was doing it.
I basically changed “I should kill myself” to “I should kill (some other specific person)”, as the latter horrified me. Might be a similar technique.
We remember those moments with shame because we keep reliving them and reveling in the shame.
Remembering something taints the memory with your current mindset.
When those memories come up, choose a different response. Laugh at yourself. Forgive yourself. Love yourself.
Those memories will change in response when you stop the self-abuse. And it really does feel better too.
Any recommended reading on this topic? Choosing a different response when these memories come up is really difficult for me, personally. Even when I acknowledge that I’ve grown as a person since then, the memories themselves still just feel jarringly awful.
I’ve found a lot of success in working through things logically when the painful memories return.
This puts me in a position of acknowledging my imperfections without suffering long term regret. I can’t change the past, and if I’ve learned from it, then I need to live in the Now, not the Then
Here is an article discussing it.
I would personally think that Buddhist techniques like mindfulness and meditation would be helpful here.
I don’t know how I really achieved it, but one thing I do remember I did was altering my negative self-talk so I would be alarmed and notice I was doing it.
I basically changed “I should kill myself” to “I should kill (some other specific person)”, as the latter horrified me. Might be a similar technique.
Much appreciated! I’ll give it a read.