[CW: sexual assault]
Yes this is a real movie. You can watch it on Apple TV this Friday June 19th. It might become the worst movie ever made. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt35309713/
I included the cast list because it is telling. The characters include women without names, evil Muslims, and “badass” police officers. And I can’t figure out of the last guy is playing a judge whose last name happens to be Reinhold or if he’s playing the actor whose name is Judge Reinhold.
Armie Hammer cannibal accusations: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armie_Hammer#Abuse_allegations
BTW, Armie’s great grandfather Julius was a leader in the Socialist Labor Party of America, which helped co-found Communist Party USA. Julius literally helped smuggle contraband into the USSR to aid Lenin. Armie’s grandfather Armand also lived in the USSR for a few years during the New Economic Policy and negotiated directly with Lenin’s government. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armand_Hammer#Career


Getting a Slav to play the Arabic mob boss, classic. Also, apparently said Slav is directing Steven Seagal’s upcoming return to “acting.”
Movie announcer voice…
“Steven Seagal. Is. Back. in Order of the Dragon: a truly explosive action-packed geezer teaser. Watch him perform a kick, get winded, and be on screen for a few more minutes.”
-–
Ninja edit.
I had a look at the cast…
“Bro, sit the fuck down. I gotta fix it. You can’t out in public with that shade of red on your cheeks.”