I have lovely friends who have chosen not have to children. It’s great when people choose their own path and others respect it. I was on the fence when it came to having kids for most of my life.
Then there’s people who forcefully tell you that not only have they chosen to not have children, but that any woman who chooses to do so are just breeders and children are crotchfruit and fuck trophies that should only be seen and not heard.
There’s a significant difference. And my own path has crossed with other women who have judged my decision for parenthood harshly based only on their own belief that what they have chosen for themselves is superior to all other choices.
Just FYI, mothers still face discrimination and disrespect, too. It’s not like sexism disappears when a woman has a child.
Just FYI, mothers still face discrimination and disrespect, too. It’s not like sexism disappears when a woman has a child.
I’d hazard a guess (though obviously I have no direct experience thereof) that it gets worse when you have a child. I could not believe the sheer gall of male coworkers “advising” pregnant and newly-mothering colleagues on how to live their lives when i was quiet enough to tolerate that shit in my presence.
Mothers primarily are the ones to take off work for sick days or appointments to start. Maternity leave painted as vacation is a common one! So many it’s hard to list to be honest.
I’m sympathetic to the pressures and dismissive attitudes that childfree women often get for sure. I once thought that I wouldn’t have any children. Anything a woman decides for herself is scrutinized. I just wish there was less fighting each other and more support for deciding what’s best for ourselves. Even if that’s different.
Anything a woman decides for herself is scrutinized.
And tragically some of the worst scrutineers are fellow women. (This is a general pattern in the western what-passes-for left, actually: the left treats fellow leftists as enemies more often than the actual enemy!)
I just wish there was less fighting each other and more support for deciding what’s best for ourselves. Even if that’s different.
The broader left in general, and feminism in specific, would be far better off and far more likely to be in the agenda-setting role if more people acted this way, yes. The right learned that lesson and is now winning every key battle, one after the other. I wish we could learn it back.
Edit: To be clear, I appreciate that you intended for your initial comment to be benign and aimed only at childfree women who are militant and rude about it. However, I do not think that you appreciate how your comment was not benign in its choice of wording.
This thread is supposed to be about women supporting one another.
I replied to someone who was not being supportive of other women and who then replied without seeming to understand how what they said was not supportive of other women.
And you chose to make mention of your offense and I explained myself because I did not intend to offend childfree women who aren’t assholes about their choice.
We can’t extend some grace to each other even on a post about women supporting each other?
I just extended said grace to you. I acknowledged that you did not mean for your words to sound harmful. I didn’t expect you to get angry or defensive about me expressing my acceptance and explaining why your words might be offensive to other people.
Vocal is the key word there.
I have lovely friends who have chosen not have to children. It’s great when people choose their own path and others respect it. I was on the fence when it came to having kids for most of my life.
Then there’s people who forcefully tell you that not only have they chosen to not have children, but that any woman who chooses to do so are just breeders and children are crotchfruit and fuck trophies that should only be seen and not heard.
There’s a significant difference. And my own path has crossed with other women who have judged my decision for parenthood harshly based only on their own belief that what they have chosen for themselves is superior to all other choices.
Just FYI, mothers still face discrimination and disrespect, too. It’s not like sexism disappears when a woman has a child.
I’d hazard a guess (though obviously I have no direct experience thereof) that it gets worse when you have a child. I could not believe the sheer gall of male coworkers “advising” pregnant and newly-mothering colleagues on how to live their lives when i was quiet enough to tolerate that shit in my presence.
Mothers primarily are the ones to take off work for sick days or appointments to start. Maternity leave painted as vacation is a common one! So many it’s hard to list to be honest.
I’m sympathetic to the pressures and dismissive attitudes that childfree women often get for sure. I once thought that I wouldn’t have any children. Anything a woman decides for herself is scrutinized. I just wish there was less fighting each other and more support for deciding what’s best for ourselves. Even if that’s different.
And tragically some of the worst scrutineers are fellow women. (This is a general pattern in the western what-passes-for left, actually: the left treats fellow leftists as enemies more often than the actual enemy!)
The broader left in general, and feminism in specific, would be far better off and far more likely to be in the agenda-setting role if more people acted this way, yes. The right learned that lesson and is now winning every key battle, one after the other. I wish we could learn it back.
There is no reason that women who choose not to have children should be any less vocal than others. Being forceful is not the same as being vocal.
Come on now, I explained what I meant by vocal.
Yes, after the fact.
Edit: To be clear, I appreciate that you intended for your initial comment to be benign and aimed only at childfree women who are militant and rude about it. However, I do not think that you appreciate how your comment was not benign in its choice of wording.
And how benign does it seem when you keep pressing it after the explanation?
(Hint: not even slightly.)
This thread is supposed to be about women supporting one another.
I replied to someone who was not being supportive of other women and who then replied without seeming to understand how what they said was not supportive of other women.
And you chose to make mention of your offense and I explained myself because I did not intend to offend childfree women who aren’t assholes about their choice.
We can’t extend some grace to each other even on a post about women supporting each other?
I just extended said grace to you. I acknowledged that you did not mean for your words to sound harmful. I didn’t expect you to get angry or defensive about me expressing my acceptance and explaining why your words might be offensive to other people.
Right back at ya