I don’t understand wtf is going on with the RT score.
10% Critics, 99% Verified Audience
99 audience score? Surely, it’s bots, right?
So you look at “All Audience” and you see 1/5 pretty much the whole way down:
Then Verified Audience… and it’s 5/5 the whole way down?
These are (supposedly) verified ticket purchase reviews/accounts. Did they seriously just buy up a bunch of tickets just pay for high reviews?
I mean they buy books in bulk to get an author on the best seller list
Yeah considering we’re seeing the posts they’re probably higher in the rankings so they give those people tickets so they can post something good. Hell I bet most didn’t watch the thing. Just want a nibble of that baby carrot.
If you got money it’s probably not difficult to do.
Can confirm. At my old job around 2010s, there was an objective to make all the C-level folks best selling authors, Ted speakers, thought leaders, etc.
Many of them appeared in Forbes and top 100 lists.
It wasn’t expensive at all.
Only MAGAs would pay to see this so of course all the ticket purchasers are glazing it. It could have been just watching her take a dump for 2 hours and they’d rate it 5 stars.
same as it ever was
Surely, it’s bots, right?
Can you imagine anyone actually paying to watch the movie? Yeah, I’d say it’s bots or something along those lines. 99% is about as believable as North Korean “election” results
And then everyone stood up and cheered…fucking lying pieces of shit.
“Damn, I was high as FUCK when I wrote this shit.” ~ Nick Adams
He used ai to fabricate the story
is this the golf foursome guy
This is fun to read and I congratulate him for sliding up Trump’s ass in these slippery times
Is this supposed to be serious? It’s so over the top that it reads like satire. The only thing missing is the applause.
Apparently this guy is a joker/troll, but still on the MAGA train. Satire, but uncritical of the thing it’s satirizing? Maybe like Babylon Bee?
You know, I couldn’t figure out what bugged me so much about the Babylon Bee until you just pointed it out perfectly. Most conservative humor is punching down, which is what makes it so unfunny in the first place. But even when they do an article poking fun at conservative stuff, they still don’t quiet land any punches. Satire is supposed to be critical of what you’re making fun of, not just acknowledging it.
IMO guys like OOP, and lots of conservative memes, are more about getting a reaction out of ideological/political opponents and then laughing about that. That is the thought process, but it doesn’t have to actually happen this way, which makes it even sadder.
In other words, they imagine libs getting mad at their jokes, and that’s the joke.
Other people have described this much better than me.
I’m not sure exactly where BB falls here, but at least partly the above applies.
Then it’s not satire.
And everybody got the clap.
Shoveling out the slop for the slop-hogs that want to believe orange man fantasy slop
He also found $100 on the ground and several chicks hit on him and they all sang a song together
Tears in their eyes, sir!..sir!
And a crowd of thousands had appeared, and they all applauded.
Fireworks followed
It’s like an early gen AI video
An upside down airplane morphed out of a wall and did a barrel roll down the hallway in reverse.
And then ice came out and had a celebratory beating of a Latino.
I shouldn’t have laughed at this
Those little girls? Alberta Einstein(s)
Well kids, if you want to see Melania (pulls out phone), here you go!
Woof
Even naked, I literally couldn’t find her less attractive. And I’m a straight dude who isn’t even that picky about women.
Her “talents” on (mostly) full display
She is a certified genius in accordance with her visa type.
Ask how and why you have these but I don’t want to know.
Who’s head is that though? It’s clearly photoshopped.
Alone in the basement, Adams was furiously whacking off with one hand, as he typed his Melania fanfic with the other.
‘I am settling in for a showing of ‘Melania’ and the theater is PACKED!’
“What else does this story need?” he whacked. “Oh, yes. Little girls!”
His non-typing hand immediately doubled its speed.
deleted by creator
This is literally Trump Derangement Syndrome.
Right. That is the definition of TDS.
They then got up to the doors for Melania and the Easter Bunny said, “Tickets please…” and the man searched his pockets but couldn’t find his tickets.
And the thousands or whatever made up, bullshit claims of people started yelling, “Hurry up!” “We want to see the movie!!”
Suddenly the person behind the man got impatient, pulled out a gun and shot the man.
Oh no… There’s more…
Some prime copypasta material in there
What an absolute shit stain lmfao
I am settling in for a showing of ‘Melania’ and the theater is PACKED!
Earlier, a bystander asked if I was heading in to see Avatar, and I stopped dead in my tracks.
“Avatar? No, son,” I curtly replied. “I don’t watch woke movies. I’m here to see the groundbreaking documentary about our incredibly talented First Lady.”
The man’s two little girls began jumping up and down, pulling on his sleeve, and begging, “Daddy, we want to see Melania!”
“But. But…” he stammered, “I thought you girls wanted to see Zootopia 2?”
“No, no, NO,” they said, now nearly shouting. “We want to see Melania!! She is the most beautiful First Lady EVER.”
Their father was scrambling, stressed out, and disoriented.
“Girls, I’m afraid you aren’t the only ones who are captivated by President Trump and his beautiful wife,” I said, kneeling to get on their level. “Virtually everyone in this theater is here for the 7:30 PM showing, and it’s been sold out for days.”
Tears began to well up in their eyes.
“But…” I said in a hushed tone, “I happen to have a few extra tickets with me, and I’d like you and your dad to have them.”
They jumped for joy and began hugging their father. He looked relieved as he wiped the sweat off his brow with a smile.
I handed him the tickets and pulled him close. “Raise these girls right,” I whispered. “Teach them to be classy conservative women of faith like Melania, don’t let them become like Meghan Markle. Capisce?”
He hugged me and thanked me profusely. “What are you going to do now?” He asked.
“Don’t worry about me, son,” I told him, with a twinkle in my eye. “I’ve already got tickets to the next showing.”
And then they had buttsex in the bathroom, not that they’re gay or anything, while the children watched a movie dryer than a silicon gel packet in the Sahara.
This is one of the funniest things I have read all day.
Who is this even for? Even hardcore MAGA can’t be bothered to watch this shit.
with a twinkle in my eye
Back in my day propaganda tried to be convincing.
In my day satire was easily recognized
Honestly I can’t tell if Nick Adams is satire or not. Like he’s legitimately very conservative, but also the posts get so ridiculous he MUST realize it can’t be taken seriously
So… They’re writing fan fiction now…
Always have been, remember in 2016 when he said he’d release his tax information (required to get clearances) and he failed to do so, kept saying he would and now is suing the people who voted for him for $10 billion dollars.
Edit: why… Because he told the population he would do the job for $0, and the tax records showed he didn’t donate that money and was lying to every Republican voter.
Oh and because he can now blatantly steal from them, and they will say yes please, because every Republican is an absolute bootlicker
