I know there’s probably no understanding it, but it’s keeping me up at night. When prompted with “what are your pronouns?” chuds will often reply with that they have no pronouns. But then if asked if they can be referred to as he/him, they’re fine with it. Plus being fine with using me/you/I etc. I’ve even heard them say they don’t consider he/him/she/her to be pronouns.
I mean I kinda know what it is but I’m not gonna ask a chud to confirm. I think it’s these things:
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Confusion between very typical pronouns such as she/her with neopronouns like xi/xir.
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They’ve literally never been asked for their pronouns before so their minds can’t process the question. They only know that pronouns are those things that trans people use, so they have an immediate kneejerk reaction to reject the concept entirely without consideration.
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Confusion between the concept of pronouns and gender identity
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Misunderstanding of the concept of a pronoun mean something more like “identified pronoun”
I seriously hate these people so much by the way. Obstinant, stubborn transphobia is a fucking plague and I’m very pessimistic about the idea you can simply argue them out of their mindsets. They’re completely stuck because they want to be stuck, and they don’t even want to know what they’re mad about. May Allah have mercy on their eternal souls because I have very little sympathy for them
[none / use name]
I’m with you actually, because in practice people won’t only use proper nouns, they’ll just use they/them anyway.
Hopefully, but still not often enough. Far too common to see people default to he/him still when they don’t know.
That also, which is even worse
Haha, well, I certainly fell into that one by being too focused on the cis people who won’t bother to select something beyond “the default”. I’d love it if it could be replaced by some capability to better define nounself and nameself pronouns. Just please give me 5 forms.
its for opsec, no?
It is specifically not supposed to be for opsec, there was a whole struggle session about this years ago where people were arguing we shouldn’t mandate pronoun tags and I think at the time the account creator made you pick, but when we federated it went back to just having a default value.
I think we should have none/use name, but change the default to they/them to piss off transphobes, make people explicitly go in and change it to none/use name if they want that.
Choose wrong if you’re that scared of people actually knowing. Plenty of other options available.
tbh i would rather use they/them not because that’s what i use in real life but because that’s what’s most natural to me when referring to someone on the internet whose gender you don’t know. but if i pick that i feel like i’m stealing they/them valor so i went with none
You can just use it. If you want to just use it.
ⓘ 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘤𝘢𝘵. 𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘴𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘳.
I certainly can’t speak for everyone, but I think they/them is a great default and I have no issue with people using it online but not irl.
What is your problem with it IRL?
i read it as:
“i have no issue with [people who use they/them online while using other pronouns irl]”
I’m still not following how what I said got interpreted differently - this is exactly what I was saying.
Huh? My only problem with it IRL is when I get gendered by people, especially the ones I’ve explicitly asked not to use other pronouns.
When cis women get addressed with she/her but then you see a trans woman and remember you are doing are doing a post gender thing and then only address the trans woman as they/them, that can be invalidating. Or so I’ve been told.
Stealing valor is cool, though
not from oppressed ppl tho