I know there’s probably no understanding it, but it’s keeping me up at night. When prompted with “what are your pronouns?” chuds will often reply with that they have no pronouns. But then if asked if they can be referred to as he/him, they’re fine with it. Plus being fine with using me/you/I etc. I’ve even heard them say they don’t consider he/him/she/her to be pronouns.
I mean I kinda know what it is but I’m not gonna ask a chud to confirm. I think it’s these things:
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Confusion between very typical pronouns such as she/her with neopronouns like xi/xir.
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They’ve literally never been asked for their pronouns before so their minds can’t process the question. They only know that pronouns are those things that trans people use, so they have an immediate kneejerk reaction to reject the concept entirely without consideration.
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Confusion between the concept of pronouns and gender identity
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Misunderstanding of the concept of a pronoun mean something more like “identified pronoun”
I seriously hate these people so much by the way. Obstinant, stubborn transphobia is a fucking plague and I’m very pessimistic about the idea you can simply argue them out of their mindsets. They’re completely stuck because they want to be stuck, and they don’t even want to know what they’re mad about. May Allah have mercy on their eternal souls because I have very little sympathy for them
I certainly can’t speak for everyone, but I think they/them is a great default and I have no issue with people using it online but not irl.
What is your problem with it IRL?
Huh? My only problem with it IRL is when I get gendered by people, especially the ones I’ve explicitly asked not to use other pronouns.
i read it as:
“i have no issue with [people who use they/them online while using other pronouns irl]”
I’m still not following how what I said got interpreted differently - this is exactly what I was saying.
If you insert a comma, you might be able to see how it can be interpreted as you saying “I’m fine with online, but not irl”
ⓘ 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘤𝘢𝘵. 𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘴𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘳.
Haha, I still needed to read this multiple times to parse it as “me talking about my pronouns” instead of “me talking about other people’s pronouns” 🫠
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Right, it took me way too long to read it that way is all - that’s parsing it as a statement I’m making about my pronouns, rather than a reply to someone not wanting to steal my valor by using they/them online but not irl.
“i’m fine with [X online but not offline]”
vs
“[i’m fine with X] online but not (fine with X) offline”
I read it as the latter, but now I understand what their intention might have been.
When cis women get addressed with she/her but then you see a trans woman and remember you are doing are doing a post gender thing and then only address the trans woman as they/them, that can be invalidating. Or so I’ve been told.