I dress up as Stalin for Halloween.
I go to the various houses (petite bourgeoisie kulak liberals) and knock on their door.
I make my demand simple. “Trick or treat, lib.”
They say they’ll give me candy, but only a bagful
This is where it gets interesting.
I pull out a comically large burlap sack (each thread was handwoven by a random seamstress in Dudinka) and take all of the candy.
I then denounce them for their reactionary offerings (licorice is rooted in Anglo-Saxon imperialism, don’t @ me) and then give them a single slap across the face.
They then cry.
I am directly responsible for multiple anti-communist laws in my area.
I am directly responsible for multiple anti-communist laws in my area.
Commie goals. Nicely done, comrade. Now I kinda wanna dress as Stalin for Halloween, my dad would lose his mind…
Sorry, but this was just a shitpost.
Eh, still commie goals. If they’re going to raise McCarthy from the dead and make anti communist laws, might as well be directly responsible for some municipal and county ones, right?
I mean, good luck stopping me from dressing up as Charlie Merked
Gonna make a big papier mache head with a tiny face with X’s for eyes
Same!
Make sure you use red bodypaint for the neck hole, not jam, it will just fall off and make everything sticky.
Yeah, while I wouldn’t mind smelling like fruit all night, I also don’t like being sticky
Rig up a system like they use in movies and stuff where if you squeeze a pouch it will shoot fake blood from your neck
Squibs!
TBF I don’t think American conservatives go out for trick or treating haha it’s unironically too scary for them. Near us at least they have “trunk or treat” in the local megachurch parking lot - apparently that’s what passes as a “third space” for them lmao. So pathetic.
The bougie conservatives are afraid of their own shadow, absolutely. But I live in a Trump-leaning working class neighborhood and they do Halloween like it’s 1985 (giant candy bars, zero road safety, zero COVID precautions. As God intended.)
That’s (imo) good to hear - it’s unironically one of the few community events in the US.
That’s okay, I’m going as a panda bear. I can make commie bear jokes to myself, while everyone else just sees a hug shaped ball of fluff.
I would go as Lenin, since I have done that for Halloween before, and I usually do it on the anniversary of the October Revolution as well, but I want to be cautious this year, and no one I know ever recognizes that costume anyway, so…
