WASHINGTON—Warning that the charge carried a five-year mandatory minimum sentence, the U.S. Department of Justice declared Friday that the distribution of images featuring a balding Elon Musk constituted an act of domestic terrorism. “For the benefit of all Americans, anyone who posts or reposts photos from Mr. Musk’s PayPal days will be prosecuted for terrorism,” […]
“Yes, Mr. President, we can designate putting too much vermouth in a martini as Domestic Terrorism, and this will give us an excuse to arrest people without a warrant and send them to Gitmo indefinitely without a court order.”
“Do it.”