Drug addicts/People who use drugs are probably the last marginalized social category that it’s totally OK to treat like shit. There’s a movement to promote drug users’ humanity and advocate for our civil rights (things like safe injection sites, safe supply, ending the War on Drugs), which is still in its very early infancy; if you’re interested, a good place to start is looking up the Vancouver Area Network of Drug Users (VANDU), and its associated org, the Drug Users’ Liberation Front (DULF). “Harm reduction” is a keyword that’s heavily associated with our movement.
It’s a rare sight, a drug addict (in “active addiction”) speaking for themselves and for their community (yes, community). I’m not ashamed of my drug use. I have never scammed anyone for drugs. I have never stolen from anyone. And in contrast to how jaded this world leaves most of us who do dope in the shadows, I have met the closest friends and the most awesome people I’ve met in my entire life since I started doing drugs. I’m going to rehab soon (I guess), but I don’t intend to leave this world behind all the way. These are my friends. These are my people. o7
Anyways…
Yeah ask me anything. Some questions I may respectfully pass on because of reasons.
I’m calling the rehab place tomorrow, technically today, btw.
Tell me more about this person that you love so much
For what it’s worth, I think your story about them and recovery is incredibly sweet
This made me smile. I hardly hear any positive feedback about my feelings for them. And I love talking about them; when things remind me of them, like the grocery store we used to go to together, I get heart-wrenchingly sad, but when I tell a story about them or about their favorite candy or whatever it makes me legit happy.
Idk what to say though, about them. Ask me something I guess? I wish I could tell you their name. It makes my heart flutter when I just think of their name. And it’s a cool name.
They’re so tragically beautiful. Part of what makes me so fucking sad is how much of them will always be a mystery.
What about them do you love?
Anything completely mundane about them that just gets your heart filled up?
They love cartoons/animation. And stickers. And tiny spoons. Here’s a fucking drug dealer who’s been addicted to heroin since they were 18, who goes YAAAAAY when you bring them some cute little thing they like.
Also, all the things I miss about them are just so mundane. Sitting with them in their car, going grocery shopping. Part of why I started going nuts was because I hated how I didn’t get to see this person hardly ever. I didn’t need to see them every day, I just wished they were an organic part of my life, like if they still lived in the same neighborhood I do.
One of the things I love about them feels a little…wrong. Their life story, what I know of it anyways, is tragic but beautiful at the same time. I’ve never been so interested in someone, like that. I’ve cried thinking of what happened to them as a kid; they were “sent away” to a place for “troubled teens” when they were 16. I look at their old Facebook photos and I feel something I don’t know how to describe. I wish I knew them like anyone else in their life. All I have are a handful of memories that I hold tightly onto, like episodes of a show that was canceled too soon.
One time when we had only just met the last time we saw eachother, they invited me along on an errand and we parked in this empty parking lot at night because they wanted to do a shot. They showed me videos on YouTube instead. And then they fell asleep while “Welcome to the Internet” by Bo Burnham played on their phone. I always thought that meany they felt comfortable around me. I can’t remember exactly but I think later that night before I left they gave me a hug.
They abruptly decided to quit smoking meth one day, and it’s funny how their behavior changed. Before that, they were the one person I knew who did meth and wasn’t batshit crazy, but they still occasionally glitched and did something weird, like randomly saying something about being psychically linked to their cat, or casting a protection spell or something I can’t fucking remember on their truck.
They shoplift a lot and for some reason I find it so adorable. One time I pulled up at their spot just as they were getting home from Lowe’s. They were taking a fuck ton of brackets out of their jacket pockets; I said “You boosted those didn’t you,” and they just casually said, “I’m not paying for that shit.”
They once stole a carton of eggs, after commenting on how cheap they were, because this was when the price of eggs was skyrocketing for a minute. Later on they told someone “I only paid $3.50 for a carton of eggs,” and I just had to snark. I should’ve doubled down when they replied with something like “Well you know what I mean” but I was too twacked out to be like “No, I don’t.”
They got mad when I told them how many times I’ve been banned from Reddit.
Thanks a lot for sharing this person with us. No wonder you love them so, they sound very warm and comforting to be around
They think that I’m just “another” person who’s gotten obsessed with them. They’re really hot so a lot of weird dudes get weird on them but it isn’t just that.
Idk why but people fucking fall in love with me all the time. Like people find me really endearing and sweet and shit. It doesn’t come out so much online where I feel comfortable being more like my piece of shit self, but it still happens.
The same thing happens with them. People just fucking love them so often.
And it seems too like we’re both just as often misunderstood, and hated. They’re always telling me about some new drama going on in their life. Another friend who’s turned on them. Another story of someone who was awful and mean to them.
I get accused of shit I didn’t do and nobody will fucking believe me when I deny it. And some people are just so pointlessly mean to me, and bully me.
I think we’re both misunderstood, a lot. It feels too good to be true, like I can’t possibly not just be tweaking here, but I’ve always felt like we had something in common, that I can’t describe and that I’ve never seen in anyone else; it’s the reason I’ve always been so detached and alone, and I can’t help but see little things that make me think they might feel the same way.
I was about to add: they have this amazing silliness to them; they say things like “golly gosh” and “well fuck me sideways with a rake.” They do that thing where they 🎶 siiing 🎶 a random word sometimes, and they’ll say things like “that sounds like something you should talk about wiiiith a therapist.”
I forgot about how that’s something I really love about them because I do things like that too.
They have a cat who sits on their shoulder when they go out. People gawk at them and they told me how when people point and say “You have a cat on your shoulder!,” they sometimes react like AAAAAUGH GET IT OFF ME.
They love movies; they see a movie in theaters literally almost every day. And they’re obsessed with Legend of Zelda. They love stickers. They collect tiny spoons, and when I told them I got them a tiny spoon their reaction was like, this adorable happy child-like “YAAAaaayyYYyy.”
I can’t tell if I broke their heart by lying to them, or if they’re just tired of my insane bullshit. It’s hard to believe they would just…hate me like they seem to.
I’ll never, ever fucking forget them though.
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