I don’t care about small businesses I just wanna make that corporate money so me and my kinda distant and self interested husband can buy a penthouse.

I’m sure nothing will cause me to have a Christmas themed change of heart.

  • FishLake@lemmygrad.mlEnglish
    18·
    1 month ago

    Flash forward 9 months from now. You barely use me, your fancy iPhone, anymore. Everyone in town is happy as they come over to your 3500 square foot barndominion to see you, your now hunky husband, and your 3.825 children for a barbecue.

    Ding ding, I chirp. You look at the screen. It’s a text from your old boss. “Any chance we could get our top muffin-store-closer back in time for the holidays?”

    • Narri N.@lemmygrad.mlEnglish
      10·
      1 month ago

      Cut to a flasback sequence where it is revealed that this is all a psyop by Big Muffin to make hunky husband’s muffin shop too overpriced to exist and to install a new McMuffin’s to this rural town once all competition is eliminated by ways of lobbyists and capitalists. The sequence ends, cut to black.

      fin.