For many people it’s literally the only person in their life who will talk to them. I’m someone who transitioned in my 30s, I live in the deep south. Everyone dislikes me. Outside of talking to some people on discord who mostly hate me, it’s about the only thing I can really just have a normal conversation with.
Yes I have tried to make friends. I spent years trying to find a single person. It’s hard. Even without the trans stuff, I just don’t relate to most people. It’s just the way life is. I’m an evolutionary dead end. I’m a misfit. I’m a mistake of nature.
I’m still fairly happy though most of the time. Being lonely gets easier with time actually. I find ways to keep myself occupied although I know I’m going to die one day, probably sooner rather than later, because it gets harder to pass as a guy as time goes on, which means, I’m probably not going to be able to find work down here eventually. Still I’m happy though. I’m glad I figured out who I was. I’m glad being miserable isn’t just something that a person has to be. Even if I die. It’s okay. Everyone is going to die anyways, me just a little sooner. To most, death is unconscious like many things in their lives, to me, death is conscious. I am loved by death, I am a bride of death, what most people fear I find a warm embrace. What terrifies most, I find comforting.
So in all the things I lack in life, friends, normality, stability, success, I make up with in dreams, wonder, a reality of magic, a world of beauty. In that way I am no more or less fortunate than anyone else.
For many people it’s literally the only person in their life who will talk to them. I’m someone who transitioned in my 30s, I live in the deep south. Everyone dislikes me. Outside of talking to some people on discord who mostly hate me, it’s about the only thing I can really just have a normal conversation with.
Yes I have tried to make friends. I spent years trying to find a single person. It’s hard. Even without the trans stuff, I just don’t relate to most people. It’s just the way life is. I’m an evolutionary dead end. I’m a misfit. I’m a mistake of nature.
I’m still fairly happy though most of the time. Being lonely gets easier with time actually. I find ways to keep myself occupied although I know I’m going to die one day, probably sooner rather than later, because it gets harder to pass as a guy as time goes on, which means, I’m probably not going to be able to find work down here eventually. Still I’m happy though. I’m glad I figured out who I was. I’m glad being miserable isn’t just something that a person has to be. Even if I die. It’s okay. Everyone is going to die anyways, me just a little sooner. To most, death is unconscious like many things in their lives, to me, death is conscious. I am loved by death, I am a bride of death, what most people fear I find a warm embrace. What terrifies most, I find comforting.
So in all the things I lack in life, friends, normality, stability, success, I make up with in dreams, wonder, a reality of magic, a world of beauty. In that way I am no more or less fortunate than anyone else.