This feels tantalizingly close to the truth.

lol

What the fuck are “unregretted user minutes”? I regret every minute any user spends on that site, so it should be zero.

You’re going to get to! That’s what they will actually be doing if the class action lawsuits don’t crash them.

Art doesn’t need to know this answer that badly. This fucking guy has taken

• dilaudid
• morphine
• opium
• nitrous
• pcp
• meth
• lighter fluid, by huffing
• cough syrup at a dose of “two bottles”

I don’t even know what a few of these things are, and I’m not going to look up and see how crazy the doses on everything else are, but based on the ones I do know I can only conclude that this guy is trying to kill himself.

And he’s succeeding, from the sound of it.

“unimpeachable character” idk the slaves he was fighting to keep probably had a different take on his character

You’re asking this in a community that’s specifically about doing piracy. Pretty hard to take your question seriously in this context.

“Oh, I’m not a sapiosexual myself, but I am a know-it-ally.”

Am I wrong in thinking the original tweet was a joke? Adding the mac speech bubble is just saying “no, fuck your joke, this is my joke now”

and i figured you’d read what i actually wrote instead of arguing with someone who didn’t exist

Yes, I know all that. The argument I was replying to was that you run out of trees if you use them to make paper without recycling. That argument is false. You’re arguing with points I didn’t make.

No, this isn’t solved by having a whole forest available when you scale up the consumer side too.

You’re seriously underestimating how many trees there are. The only reason we’re losing forest is because of grazing land. That’s clearcutting, where you remove the tree and just destroy it or just burn the whole forest. As a vegetarian I’m obviously not here to defend grazing land, but if you look only at wood and paper production, we absolutely can replace the trees we use with enough time for them to regrow completely.

Doing so devastates ecosystems by turning them into monocultures, but you’re only talking about the replacement rate of trees. We don’t have to worry about the replacement rate of trees, we have to worry about greed for land and environmental impact.

After reading the caption I had to look at the picture several times to convince myself it was not, in fact, Ben Shapiro in a garfield costume

Ideas for the new logo? I think he should go with a black-red motif, with lots of right angles.

No. Jesus. It doesn’t cause conequent and proximate injury. The rewards are not redeemed when the card is swiped, so it doesn’t meet the criterion of “proximate” because McDonalds still has many opportunities to void those points before they are used. Swiping a card is not injury. It also isn’t injury because someone would have received the benefit of those points either way, so no actual loss accrues to McDonalds.

Last but not least, their ToS stipulate a requirement that in any legal dispute the parties must participate in arbitration. You know what type of law arbitrators do not handle? Criminal law. Not a crime, even according to McDonalds. Not fraud.

Fuck’s sake, McDonald’s has an army of actual lawyers letting them think they can get away with putting up this fucked-up sign, they don’t need you jumping on the back to help convince everyone to just bend over and take it.

No it isn’t. Fraud requires loss caused by deception. Nobody’s losing anything here. It’s a terms of service violation. If we’re getting technical, there are actually more requirements of the label “fraud” that are also not being met here.

You’re not allowed to do it by policy, but it isn’t theft, and it isn’t even a crime. At worst it’s a violation of the employee handbook, which in this particular franchise sounds like it could result in being fired. Still not a crime.

I think it’s very much like regular ice cream, but a flavor an octopus would eat.

Crab, maybe.

Ah, 25 million per child? Finally a fine big enough to make a tech company feel conseque–

[Touches earpiece] one moment, I’m getting an update–

damn, zing