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Cake day: September 26th, 2023

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  • Normal World: Children become autonomous early on in their development and are able to travel relatively short-to-medium distances without the need of a chaperone.

    American World: Children are forbidden from venturing 2 feet into the outside world without a pair of 21 Year-old eyes oogling them at all times. Travel of children autonomously under the age of 16 is forbidden. Any concerns about a child’s development are swiftly hand waved away because the mystical child-stealing candy van might drive on by and snatch your obviously stupid and oblivious child. Anyway, don’t forget to go to church!