I have never ever ever wanted to “just be friends” first. I am not looking for a new friend. I have friends. I am looking for intimacy that’s not typically available for friends, and sex.
Furthermore, the timeline and transition points for “just friends” to “dating” are not defined. If I want to kiss now but we’re on a “just friends” track, what do I do? Probably pursue someone who wants what I want, and not spin my wheels hoping the other person will come around
This does not sound like a very common experience.
What is it that makes you uncomfortable? Is it all scenarios? Coffee date? Bar date?
Yes, you can make players pre-plan. You nudge them.
No amount of nudging will make some players do anything. Some players are obstinate and frankly not very good, but honestly the solution to “this player won’t stop looking at their phone and their turns take forever” may be to remove them from the group.
Why does it matter how much time everyone takes?
I don’t want to wait 5 minutes for someone to dither and dither and finally decide “I attack”
This was a weirdly aggressive comment.
The solution is the pre-planning, which does not need a timer, nor is it a guaranteed result of a timer.
You cannot make players pre-plan. The timer encourages pre-planning, or at least rapid decision making on the fly. Both have the desired result of the game moving at a quicker pace.
It also has the benefit of creating an impartial tool for measuring, instead of relying on subjective “You’re taking a long time.” It is harder to argue with a clock. This is an advantage.
There was a problem, and in trying to fix it, the DM created a second problem.
What is the second problem?
Reading at a 6th grade level is reading for plot. Just like, what happened? Who was there? More advanced things like subtext, metaphor, and unreliable narrators come later.
I found this online the last time this topic came up: https://www.oxfordonlineenglish.com/english-level-test/reading
Go ahead and read the story, and imagine that a lot of people cannot read and understand it.
There’s also this article about how many kids are taught to read badly: https://features.apmreports.org/sold-a-story/ (amusingly, also available as a podcast)
What does it mean practically? Bad things. If you haven’t read 1984, give it a go and think about why the authoritarian state benefitted from a diminished language.
I don’t always run a timer, but it is a tool in my box.
Mostly it comes out when I feel like the players are spinning their wheels. Like, they know they need to get into the server room on the 10th floor. There’s a front door with security, a back door with an alarm, etc. The players are just going round and round with ideas but not doing anything.
I’ll say “I’m starting a five minute timer. If it hits zero, something interesting will happen”.
If it hits zero and they’re still stuck, then as foretold something interesting happens. A rival group rolls up and firebombs the entrance before heading inside. A security drone spots them and is calling the cops. Whatever. Something that forces them to act.
In combat rounds I sometimes do the same, but only if it feels like they’re not making progress. Maybe it’s a little rude sometimes, but I value keeping the scene moving forward. I don’t want to keep spending three minutes on “should I move? How far can I move again? Is there a range penalty? What if I use a spell first can I still shoot?” stuff. Especially if it’s rules minutia they should already know.
The amount of times I had to remind an old group’s bard that yes, in DND 5e you can move AND take an action was too high.
I think having areas with weaker or stronger enemies is fine. Good, even. So long as you can tell by looking at them what you’re getting into.
Dark Souls generally does this. A rotting skeleton is a low threat. A giant knight in black armor and man sized sword is a bigger threat.
Oblivion will often have dudes that visually and behaviorally are the same, but hit way differently because of the numbers assigned to them. You can’t really look at a scene and understand what you’re getting into.
Other games also do a bad job here. Borderlands for example will have identical looking bandits, but in this area they’re indestructible level 100, and that one they’re push over level 5. The ass-creed Viking one did the same thing. Archers on one side of the river you could ignore, but the far side would one hit you.
I think a lot of studios don’t want to invest in the extra art assets and stuff when it’s cheaper to just use the same monster model and assign it different numbers.
I feel like trying to combine
all together is just fundamentally at odds with itself.
Personally I’d prefer to see less vertical power growth. I’d rather have the numbers stay somewhat constrained.
Like, let’s say the most damage you can ever do with a lightning spell is 100. Work backwards from that to figure out how much health things should have. We want a master mage to be able to blow mooks up in one zap, mid tier in 3, and big scary shit in 6.
A novice mage zaps for 20. We want mooks to take 3 hits, mid tier stuff maybe 10, and big scary stuff a lot.
Mooks: ~60hp Mid tier: ~210 Bosses: 600
If your gameplay is then deeper than a simple stat check, a novice can persevere and win against a big challenge.
I really super dislike it when you have stuff that looks like a mook or a boss, but is statted otherwise. I remember in Oblivion some witch lady was oddly high level, and she kept fighting despite having like 50 arrows in her face.
Something like that, but with more thought put into it than a Lemmy post from the couch.
Oblivion was kind of really bad though. It had the worst level scaling of the genre.
I think the spell crafting was also toned down and more gated than Morrowind. And the equipment I think was overly simplified.
I… I played a lot of guild wars 2. It’s a good game!
But about 40 games total. I don’t want to be a mono-gamer so that’s nice.
Nine Sols is squarely in the “good but not fun” category for me. It is well executed but I did not enjoy most of it. Also the story is a bummer.
I reinstalled Sekiro after finishing it to see if my memory was rose tinted. No, sekiro is still like music. Even cleared the “you should lose this fight” tutorial boss.
We could all decide to just like… take their wealth. There’s no ref that’s going to call time out.
Sometimes it takes just as much effort to be kind as to be cruel.
Like, some video game, public chat, someone says like “these poison monkeys are so fast. They keep killing me”.
Someone replies “skill issue”.
Like ok big lol I understood that reference, but also like… Why? Now the monkey victim feels mocked. Could just as easily said “I hear you bro. Those monkeys are jerks”.
Could also just say nothing.
I feel like sometimes too many people are stuck acting like insecure 14 year olds.
I think some people in niche communities (such as communist groups in this example) actually want the group to stay insular and personal. They like feeling part of a special little group, and if it started letting just anyone in then that would be lost.
Path of Exile 2 is pretty good. Wasd movement and a dodge roll are nice. Some parts are still rough, but it’s been out like a month.
I don’t really trust that just anyone will make something new and fun. Something that tries to extract money, sure.
Seems kind of bland, but I guess we’ll see
There’s been a couple games I’ve decided to just not buy because the disk space requirement was too high. I don’t think they care much about a single lost sale, unfortunately.
I don’t think 5e is an especially coherent game.
I feel like it should be illegal to sell user information like that, but clearly I don’t make the laws.
But yes that’s a good point that stealing bank info is worse than porn preferences. Though the way things are going, looking at gay stuff might be a hazard in some parts of the US.
Man, what a stupid dystopia this is.
Side note: small talk plays important roles in socializing and is an important skill. Use it to steer the conversation to interesting topics.
No one’s going to be perfect. People are going to be nervous on a first date. Give them a chance.
Conversely, sticking with a relationship too long. Contrary to the above, sometimes you really should call it. If the guy isn’t treating you with respect, you don’t have to keep going. If you realize you never look forward to seeing them, you should probably end it.
Chatting too long before meeting. You’re not a real person to them when you’re just over text. You’re missing body language and tone. You want to meet in person quickly.
The general flow for me is like
If the online chat ends and you haven’t scheduled a date, but you want to, that’s bad. You don’t want to be having a second “hey what’s up?” tinder chat.
If this doesn’t come naturally to you , that’s fine. Just remember with your brain “always ask a question”. You need to give them something to work with.
And a last tonight that ended up stranded at the bottom of this post, and I’m writing on my phone so editing is hard:
“But what about people who want to take it slow?” Do you want to date someone who doesn’t want to date? I don’t.