jaywalker [they/them, any]

  • 1 Post
  • 181 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
cake
Cake day: October 22nd, 2023

help-circle
  • The guy I replaced got a job making about 250k and for a moment I thought I could do it, but then I remembered that guy is actually smart and understands everything he does while I just copy other people’s code and beg copilot for answers. I might be able to trick someone into hiring me for one of those high salary gigs, but surely I would expose myself as a fraud and get fired.


  • From 2008/2009 until 2015/2016, hate crimes in the US were trending down. From 2016 until today, they have trended up. To me, the best explanation for this is the rightwing radicalization (and empowerment of the already radicalized) of many by the first trump campaign and subsequent presidency.

    Outside of hate crimes, we can also see general increases in rightwing violence during this same period (at least according to the feds, not sure that we should even trust any of this data). I’m not saying electing a Dem fixes anything, I’m saying Trump being elected makes it worse because the people doing the hate crimes feel empowered.

    Obama being elected also made it worse, but because the racists felt attacked by the very idea of a black person being prez and were reacting to that, which is why it slowly died down over time. Trump is still here and still actively engaging his base, he never stopped so the radicalization didn’t stop either.




  • I must just be really used to this behavior because it doesn’t bother me at all, but it’s been happening my entire life (I’m over 40). Usually I just agree that it’s boring and move on. Sometimes I just keep going anyway because it’s not boring to me and in exchange I listen to their boring stuff.

    I’m autistic, so my experience/interpretation is likely very different from the average person. I generally prefer a person to tell me if they’re bored because I’m not going to pick it up any other way (when I try I usually just misinterpret something)

    However, the person you’re describing here seems like someone I would avoid. Anyone who gets defensive when you tell them they are hurting your feelings probably does feel attacked or blamed. Likely because they’re used to being attacked and blamed by their family or whatnot. Self-esteem can also play a big role in this kind of defensiveness.

    Basically, they gotta deal with their own shit before they’ll ever stop this kind of behavior. You don’t have to put up with it, but you probably won’t get them to change either. The best thing you can do is communicate as clearly as you can why they’re hurting you and then just stop interacting with them. They’ll either learn or they won’t. If that’s difficult for you, then don’t even bother explaining yourself because you don’t owe them anything. I think explaining it can help people in the long-term, especially if you’re not the only one saying it.








  • These are actually distinct concepts within psychology. Related, but definitely different things and based on research spanning decades. Not all of it is great research and it wouldn’t surprise me if some of these concepts are flat out incorrect, but they definitely aren’t the same thing.

    Each one focuses on group behaviors, but different group behaviors and the proposed outcome of those behaviors are also different.

    The real mistake being made here is trying to condense these concepts into a couple of sentences and pass it off as useful information when most of it is based on research from 50+ years ago. It’s only really useful when you can use this as part of a much larger understanding of how being in a group setting changes individual behavior