feel the urge to state the obvious: clothes have no gender (societal patriarchy tells us it does, but it’s so not true)

[OP said ‘traditional’, I know but still]

Parents (my own)

Oh sorry I guess I am slightly triggered by this story so my answers aren’t the best (and not english native). Have never thought about this sequence since 16 years, just because of OPs question it came back to mind.

I still can’t grasp the thoughts or believe-system she was having to say that out loud when everyone of her children was severely traumatised (but that’s a conversation for another time)

she was a mentally ill abuser if the kids she gave birth to and the kids she fostered she took in for the money only but maybe being pregnant meant something special for her, idk. her saying that definitely ruined being pregnant for me that day (got only 1 child, will never get more)

it is actually not so easy to find one that is really heavy. The Moonpal are supercute and kinda the heaviest. For everything else I would turn to Etsy and buy from a person with sewing skills. There is someome sewing Manta-Rochen (sorry don’t know the english name) and Octopus if I remember correctly that are extra heavy. Sorry these are just clues for your search because I can’t remember 😅

I was looking for a good one for a long time (ended up with a weighted blanket)

i don’t know this actually and I don’t think that last sentence is true at all

I was pregnant as the oldest daughter- three month later my sister told us she’s pregnant too. My mother (having a boyfriend of my age at that time): “Oh wouldn’t it be fun if I get pregnant too now?”

I couldn’t believe what I heard (she is an abusive parent, only 2 of her 9 children contact her at all now, the other have gone non-contact)

don’t we love a trusting parent

I’ve seen the first two of that movie series for the first time ever just yesterday.

i would try to escape the vehicle as fast as I can, even if someone is joking - because we don’t joke around with fate 😭 (I’m way to scared to fly or go to a foreign country in general so this is a really unlikely situation for me to be in)

ahhh I’ve read this as a child and now I am the proud mum of a 1,97m tall teenager, I feel seen 🥰

i read “favourite animal” and was wondering what my cat might have said quote-worthy

i will never see butterfly depictions the same again

haven’t thought about anything like this at all, that’s a great idea (for an adult) that is really frugal

love this 😍

Totally agree. It will be the last move I’ll only make if I have to (to give any pet away). But it was good considering it, because I realized what I can do BEFORE it’s too late. It’s not that bad yet and I hope work things out, so the dog will as long as I can get it’s anti-allergic food but the cat (because fit and healthy) will have to make amends like I do. I’m not 100%broke yet and it’s my desire to keep both kid and pets okay (in that order). I’ll have to get used to a cheaper lifestyle and that’s fine by me, just struggling with the adjustment sometimes.

😭 didn’t think about the opportunity that my cat might be end up as snake food 🤯 I’ll cancel it’s insurance first (it’s a young and healthy cat) to save some money for food, maybe I’ll figure something out.

you can visit any library (in germany btw) for free, but if you want to take books, dvds or magazines to your own home for a couple weeks, you have to pay an annual fee. price differs from town to town. Since I’m living in a bigger city, I can use my library card in all the departments in different city parts. But the main library is gigantic and a good place to study as well

did you choose to live frugal or did it just happen at some point? I used to grow up superpoor and we’ve had a frugal lifestyle. but as I started to have a career I started to spent more on things, food etc. I’m trying to get myself to be really careful with money now, but it’s not easy thanks to adhd

ah i see where the confusion came from. going without buying anything at all seems impossible. only-basic-essentials-buddies doesn’t sound as good as no-buy-buddies haha

I rediscovered our library and it’s only 25€/year - don’t know why I didn’t figure this out earlier 😊

ya, the cat. guess I’ll have to give it away if nothing else works out.

that is such a smart thing to do. I’m going to set myself a daily budget asap. I think that might actually work for me, because I tend to be competetive with myself.

the thing about not spending money I don’t have yet is the thing I try to teach my teen, but I guess I have to remind myself as well. thanks for that!

in my country healthcare is free, so I only pay insurance for the pets! it’s round about 100€/month for both and all eventual costs are included except food. but it’s still a lot of money. getting rid of them isn’t easy. I might find someone to help with the dog costs, I have someone in mind. and it’s a good idea to give the cat to someone who would give it back. urgh, I hate this situation.

I’ve stopped eating out and get our food from a discounter/cook it myself, so i hope to save money. realised the snack thing while typing - good idea to ask around and try out to make some myself

no-buy is an exclamation of me not trying to buy things that aren’t essentials (I’m not native english btw if some wording is off). I will need to buy food, I’ll have to pay for rent, food, hygiene and transportation i.e., but I won’t buy new cleaning/writing/gaming/whatever things if the old ones still work, won’t pay for streaming and music (just rediscovered my old mp3 collection) and I won’t spent on clothes (except for an outfit for work interviews maybe). So it’s more a mindset and not an actual no-buy-story I’m trying to tell - we’re still living in capitalism 😑

my city is walkable, actually I bought the car just two years ago (after having none for five years) but couldn’t foresee my health issues incoming. we got “good” public transport as well.

snack expensive - we mostly buy brand snacks. with regular food I stopped buying brands and got discounterfood. but we still buy the brand snacks (that’s been a realisation while writing my post). trying to replicate things at home is a good idea, I’m gonna try that!

the pet thing breaks my heart in advance. the cat is one thing, but taking my kid’s dog away after them sticking together since 7 years seems impossible. gotta think about that.

thanks for your thoughts. glad to find accountability buddies!