It’s largely Sarcasm. And by large, I mean lots. Like, most, if not all of it. It’s gonna be sarcasm.

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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 29th, 2023

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  • I am so happy with the advances in keyboard technology. i have really heavy fingers when i type. Not physically, but I’ve always used a bunch of force despite my best efforts.

    And love mechanical keys, so that makes everything super duper loud.

    Thankfully there are entire youtube channels devoted to keyboards and I was able to find a board that can be mechanical and wonderful but not sound like the end of days whenever try and send an email or type out anything too long. ___


  • Wage_slave@lemmy.mltoData Is Beautiful@lemmy.ml*Permanently Deleted*
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    10 months ago

    After having an exploratory done after getting stabbed, I started sitting all the time because since then, every time I pee standing up it’s uncomfortable and get piss shivers. When they pull everything out, it never goes back quite the same and I guess this is part of the “Well you’re doing this now” part of the rest of my life.

    The piss shivers are messy at a bowl and really fucking awkward when at a urinal.

    I am sure this could be, or have been, fixed with a procedure, or some form of treatment/phsyo, but it took no time at all to realize pitting (pee AND sitting lol) is just better, and didn’t really think or go back to the old ways and practices of expelling my liquid waste.


  • In a time which measurement makes even the biggest of brains strain, humans have finally become an advanced civilization. With wave after wave of new and exciting diseases wiping out the once controlling older generation and lowering the population to sustainable levels.

    Earth was back, BABY!

    The whole is not perfect, to truly achieve world peace, and to be taken seriously by aliens if they’re out there ignoring us, a secret sect of specialized time jumpers has begun the task of correcting historic follies and stopping specific threats that at one point in time created insurmountable damage to humanity.

    Now the technology is fickle. Still in beta and the procedures can only be completed by specific humans. We’ve sent out best and worst. There was an 87.00047 rate of time redacted melting.

    Imagine how long it takes to melt if you have your time redacted by the machine. So it requires a very unique person who is quite likely a product of inbreeding. Scientists have been trying to figure out the melting matrix, and so far successful “Librarians” have had abnormalities that are most commonly found in branchless family trees.

    The job, is to go back and chronicle everything outlined in your directive packet. You’ll have to find ways to stop some of histories worst people without killing them. Prevent catastrophic events, without alarming the public. Be light on your toes, good with your fists, and focused in the mind.

    We know medically, this might be incredibly difficult. You can’t get distracted by attractive cousins. No time for darts with the boys. The season finally of Pappas pig, forget about it. You’re there to stop the worst of the worst and the world’s largest disasters.

    Or in rare cases, ensure that the disaster goes through. It’s a tough job and the whole time, you and your fellow Librarians must constantly be recording and creating a record of your travels.

    Ultimately, your information with create the Human Chronicle, and complete a book that will ultimately teach the world how to grow, and avoid the monsters that exist to create chaos and destroy humanity, one bit at a time.

    TL;DR: Sweet, but stupid time traveller’s going through time to secure a prosperous future for humanity. Use hilarious and out of the box thinking to stop bad guys, and ensure you’re taking notes of the time and place you are sent to.

    TL;DR pt2: if you didn’t read it, you dodged a bullet.