It indeed is not as bad as it feels. I’m feeling better now but it hurt for like a whole day and I was ruminating about it lol. I hate rejection sensitivity so much. It wasn’t like we had an actual fight, I just said my piece and I got frustrated feeling like I was being ignored by the group whenever I tried to explain stuff like that. To which I got: “Well, respectfully, I think you’re wrong, and being kind of rude about it too” which hit me like a truck and made me cry. A lot.

This is why I don’t post

Also, this is my main friend group so we’re talking every day and I said sorry (even though I was right!!!) and now we’re back to memes and jokes again.

I tried explaining to my lib friends why it doesn’t matter who sits in the captain’s chair of the evil empire and they got mad at me and I have rejection sensitivity so it hurts a lot

Then why does it taste like soap :(

Being sick and somewhat sedated by medicine is enough to be sort of “drunk” and make typos. :P

But in terms of like, getting actually high, yeah you can’t just get codeine but there’s cough medicine that’s like, pure DXM and people use it as a deliriant.

I actually thought you might have been high on cold medicine again lmao

I can’t believe he just chugged a gallon of cooking oil lmao

Holy shit, that whole sub… that’s just sad.

I did a bit of research on Judaism to reconcile with zionism/anti-semitism and all that, and I saw how different it is from zionism, and that zionism is actually more anti-semitic than being anti-zionist etc.

But imagine if you knew nothing about it, and then went on r/Jewish. You would be getting the WRONG impression for sure.

I used to believe in all 4 of those things. It is painful when the illusion is shattered, so many avoid it.

At most, I can gently suggest that we’re actually the bad guys, not the good guys, and people are starting to agree with me.

What is this from?

A 14 year old already being watched by the FBI? Wtf

There’s a looooot of Trump flags where I live, which makes me feel as though support is high. But I have no idea really.

amber whataboutism volcel police

In fact, I think I’m going through the despair part at the moment.

It really had to happen for me at that point because

In marxist terminology, I could no longer tolerate the contradictions of liberalism in my mind.

I relate to a lot of this, and I do wonder if it’s an autism thing. Because like, I see a lot of lefties complain about libs as if they know they’re thinly veiled fascists and are just pretending/virtue signaling etc, and they’re always linking roderic day’s thing about propaganda. But my experience was just nothing like that. It’s like… no, I literally just did not know lol. I always had good egalitarian-like values, and I was fed so much bullshit that I was just naively a liberal. I was a radlib for sooooo long because of all the other western ‘leftists’ being stuck in electoralism, defeatism, ‘human-nature’-ism etc. The final thing that pushed me here was:

Wait, you mean communism ISN’T when no food?

Wait, you mean communism actually DID work and wasn’t just a 1984 animal farm dictatorship ???

Wait, you mean it wasn’t us libbies on the “right side of history”, it was always the socialists, and basically every good historical ‘great man’ idol that we look up to (MLK, helen keller, einstein etc) was a socialist too??

THE COMMIES WERE RIGHT THIS WHOLE FREAKIN TIME???

Because my entire life I’ve been taught commie = evil, like, they’re just The Bad Guys. It’s drilled into your head. And then when you come up with something like “hey why don’t we provide for everybody and make things fair?” it’s always: “Nah, that doesn’t work, it’s been tried, and human beings are just too selfish to make it work.”

And that had younger me like "Oh, okay… :( "

And our entire culture, media, news, history education etc is SUCH A FUCK that it took THIS LONG for me to finally get some real facts and be like wtf are you kidding me?!?!? The “villains” were right this whole time?!?!

Maybe it is like an autistic myopia for us. Maybe most people aren’t like this…? I know it’s more accurate that people’s ideology follows their material interests, and for most of us westoids, our material interests are the empire staying an empire. And you could say that because I’m disabled, that means my material interests 100% align with the abolition of capitalism, therefore here I am. But there’s definitely an element of like, bruh I did not KNOW. I wish somebody had told me sooner. But it’s a wasteland out here in the west. I ultimately had to figure it out for myself.

And I’m glad I did, because unknowingly being a “communist waiting for permission to be one” is depressing as HELL man. I saw the BS of electoralism, reforms obviously were not working, I knew the necessity of revolution but I could NOT believe that it was ever possible, like the belief that humans are selfish and it just never works was so ingrained. So I literally felt like there was no hope. Absolutely nothing. We’re just fucked and this is it and we’re powerless to do anything about it. Total capitalist realism. The bleakest view of reality. Did you also go through this phase of utter despair like I did?

It being a settler colonial state means that a sufficient reform of its structure would no longer resemble what the United States of America looks like anymore, and so, it would cease to exist

Sorta like Israel. If you fixed its issues it wouldn’t be a Jewish ethnostate doing genocide anymore, so then it wouldn’t be Israel anymore. It could just be Palestine with everybody living in it.

America’s really big though so there would be land given back to lots of indigenous groups, possibly breaking up into smaller countries, etc.

Wtf do you even say to someone like this…

I have no idea how anyone could like him at this point. Are these people even real?

It really shouldn’t be like this and I think it did permanent damage to me, I’m like a skittish indoor cat now. Been trying to enjoy the outside more but I don’t think I’ll ever be at that level. My parents made me so anxious and nervous with their paranoia and worries.

Yup, my gen x dad wouldn’t even let me take a walk on our street just to get some exercise and fresh air, because he thought I would be kidnapped and SA’d. Kidnapping has never even happened in our town before.

Meanwhile, teachers, cops, and even the fire chief were caught messing with minors or having CSAM on their computer. But I was “safe” at school! And “safe” at home with my abusive step mother. Gen x chud dads are really something else.