It’s just one of those times where you have to accept that D&D is a boardgame, and the small details fall apart when you try to make “real” stuff fit the rules.

A round is six seconds. If you want to apply logic to it, the DM would just say that the ball/rail/tungsten rod only moved up a few people in six seconds.

Alcoholist is an older word for alcoholic. They might be older, hence the older word