but lib this time

some people eat watermelon with mustard and they are wild

It has already happened and no i wont elaborate

Googling your name + “the Hedgehog”

Most people:

Dude named “Sonic”:

Trillbilly bit of rural guy that’s never heard of covid, but is deeply concerned about cancel culture.

Damn, that’s the one and only reason I wont date Olivia rodrigo

Love is blooming

wtf dont snitch, bro

It’s not even an original joke. I feel like i’ve heard it countless times already, usually with the punchline being the UK.

Pencil

shes a little confused, but shes got the spirit

Harris wins: trump loses:

Harris loses: trump wins:

I was today years old when I learned that “don’t get it twisted” DOESN’T refer to testicular torsion

The man was a drink mogul, but the crooked media will only ever remember him for his golf hobby

If I’m ever a grandparent I’ll tell you what, I am going to lie all the fucking time. I am going to give those kids so much misinformation. They will not know what is real and what isnt. I am going to completely rattle their entire worldview, alright? And it’s not gonna be just my grandchildren, its gonna be everyone until they’re like, “I think gramps has the dementia. I think we should send them to the home.” and then I lock it the fuck in because it was a bit. You’re not sending me anywhere. I’m locked in. Suddenly I’m perfect again, right as rain. I’m gonna get in people’s heads. I think that’s some of the most fun you can have as an old person. That and petty crime.

Tried to breach containment again

Failed again

I have been removed from the cycle of Samsara. my soul will not be reincarnated