After working on a bicycle or an engine, hands covered in grease, I can confirm that coffee does the job. Spent coffee grounds are gritty like sand so they work amazingly well to get the grease off. I use a bar of soap at the same time which causes coffee grounds to get embedded in the bar. It’s a good thing too because it always helps to have the soap bar a bit gritty.

That much is proven for me… been using coffee for years to wash greasy hands instead of buying the special purpose heavy-duty hand cleaners.

Coffee is now being used to make clothing and one of the claims is that it gives odor control. I’ve cut back to showering once per WEEK (a pandemic side-effect that became a habit). Even though I’m back to leaving the house regularly the shower habit did not change. So my armpits get quite rank after a week. 💡 If coffee grounds have a deodorizing effect, why not use them on arm pits? I’ve not heard of anyone doing this but thought it’d be worth a test.

So I brought spent coffee grounds into the shower and after one scrubbing with them my armpit odor was gone. Coffee grounds work better than shower gel. Normally I scrub with shower gel, rinse, & sniff. The first iteration is usually not enough… I have to repeat that process 2 or 3 times with shower gel to get the stink off. Coffee grounds worked on just one iteration. I think what happens is the deodorant is sticky & waxy which then gets coated with sweat then the sweat-loving bacteria. The abrasive grit from the coffee grounds scrapes the sticky waxy nasties away faster than soap can dissolve it.

Coffee seems to work on its own but I only did this experiment once so far so I followed with shower gel anyway for good measure.

(stop reading at this point)

nsfw begin

Of course arm pits aren’t the only area that stinks after a week. The groin doesn’t smell too good either. What develops to maturity is what’s called cock cheese¹. I’m not flexible enough to do a proper scientific test. The nose-crotch proximity is what it is. It stunk before the coffee treatment but not after. So it worked at least to the extent that I could confirm. I guess my next partner will have the noble scientific task of assisting with the close proximity sniff test mid-shower and indicate whether shower gel is still needed.

footnotes:

1. Sorry folks. Indeed it’s not the most elegant nomenclature. IMO there’s a language deficiency here. That’s the only name the stuff has AFAIK. Be sure to forget that term whenever you’re eating cheese. Or alternatively it may not be a bad idea to just cut cheese out of your diet at this point.¯\_(ツ)_/¯ You were warned.

nsfw end