What’s the psychology behind men who enjoy having their wife make fun of them for their small dick? Do these men have a fear or a sense of inadequacy or is it something else that turns them on about it?
Well, there’s not much in the way of published, clinical research on it, so you gotta be aware that there’s limits to how accurate anything can be.
The first thing to know is that people into sph don’t necessarily have a small penis. Most have average ones, just like most of any fetish will. Some have larger ones as well.
And that’s kinda telling. If someone that’s hanging low enjoys it, there’s obviously more to it than it being related to the penis itself
There’s a good bit of crossover between sph and aspects of bdsm. Humiliation, degradation, they can set off some wild brain chemistry. Dopamine, serotonin, norepinephrine, they all get pumping.
That’s what it boils down to with paraphilias. Something about it makes the person experience an intense reaction to stimuli. It doesn’t even have to be a good reaction in the broader idea of what’s good and bad. A lot of submissives report that the feelings of a session are essentially the same as those brought up by abuse, when those submissives have experienced both. It’s the intensity that matters.
The experience doesn’t even have to be sexual, though when it’s a proper paraphilia, it will be by definition. But there’s a ton of people that take part in dominance play where neither the goal nor the specifics are at all sexual. It’s about the feelings it causes, and the eventual release of tension.
Sph is just another way to enter what people call sub space. I can’t say much about it, because I’m not into that kind of thing. I’m neither a dominant nor a submissive in this regard. But it’s a fascinating part of human experience, and I’ve known people that are, so I’ve read up on things a good bit.
If you go and talk to people into it, I’d say that the majority are seeking a resolution of stresses. Since many men, and some women, worry about penis size, and society is currently in an era where big ones are erroneously seen as an indicator of specific other traits; it can become a focus of all kinds of anxiety. I suspect that in a culture where larger ones were viewed negatively, you’d see large penis humiliation exist more than sph. As it is, large penis humiliation does exist, it’s just much rarer.
The specifics of sph do often hinge on a controlled resolution of feelings of inadequacy though. That’s why people with massive penises can still partake and enjoy sph. It’s about the mind, not the body.
For that segment of people, having their fear of actual humiliation happen in a controlled setting is kind of an exposure therapy that turns into a kink. The worst is happening, so they can give up control, and give up the fear with it. That’s a powerful thing.
/u/southsamurai@sh.just.works has a perfect explanation here.
For me personally, it’s solely about the humiliation and and sub space. It’s about making me feel lesser, and my dom feeling greater.
For me, it’s also something coupled with chastity cages. Uncaged I’m about average size, but there is something hot about being forcibly made smaller so to speak.
