It’s worth noting too that for every instance of feeling scared, there are at least 5 situations where women feel belittled. I think even well meaning men are a lot less aware of it happening, or of them doing it themselves. My own father is a sweetheart who means well, but he’s skeptical of anything I tell him until my husband repeats what I’m saying. I’ve had achievements minimized because I didn’t also raise a family while doing them. I’ve been denied entry into hobbies. I’ve been given fewer opportunities at work because they want a cute face at the front desk. I’ve been told math is not for me, while being the only middle schooler in the math team who could regularly beat high schoolers at competitions. I’ve been told no boys would ever want to be my friend, because boys can only be after one thing, so all the ones being friendly are faking it. And of courses I’ve had boys stop being my friend when it becomes clear that friendship is all I’m after.

It’s harder to spot but cuts to your self worth like these add up over time.