He wants to hire me as a talent scout when I leave rehab, but is willing to pay for my recovery home once I leave rehab. According to him he’s “Dummy rich, an anarchist, and was saved by someone in the same way” in the 90s. Can I get fucked over by accepting this dude’s help?

  • dustbunnies [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    20·
    15 days ago

    Can I get fucked over by accepting this dude’s help?

    well, I’ve learned the hard way that sometimes often people who are offering to help are hoping to get a little something in return. sometimes it’s just the good feeling of helping, sometimes it’s just your friendship, but sometimes … 😐

    what does he want from you? how certain can you be that whatever answer(s) he gives are accurate and complete?

    it can be a risky situation to put all your eggs into someone else’s cushy basket. do you have any local-enough sober/in-recovery friends you could crash with if it turns out he’s looking for sexual favors or a virtual slave?

    • Aliveelectricwire [it/its]@hexbear.netOPEnglish
      25·
      15 days ago

      I have 3 bands that want to sign with them. 2 of the 3 bands agreed with me to not sign with them if I don’t get hired. (They’re amazing leftist comrades.) But considering I can’t even leave my room without being yelled at, any improvement is a plus. I know he isn’t using me for sexual favors, it’s been done before to me and isn’t triggering any warning signs, I think this person just genuinely sees my talent as a music nerd as an asset, and st worse is still offering a job that can pay for a legit house.

    • dustbunnies [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
      13·
      15 days ago

      okay, so let’s run through what the possible scenarios could be here, so you can figure out how you feel about them and how you would deal with them

      everybody help, I won’t think of everything

      • he’s exactly what he claims to be
      • he’s a serial killer and you’re in danger
      • he is mostly what he seems but also very lonely and maybe a little weird and has a hard time making friends except in this way
      • he is looking to trap a slave
      • he is running a cult
      • he is part of a cult

      as I’m typing them, the third one seems the most likely to me – and I bet this strategy tends to backfire a little, because it can make for an awkward beginning to a friendship when there’s so much inequity from the jump. it can be hard to recover from that, but finding a way to make the aid mutual really helps, so if that is the situation, just seeing the act of friendship as a gift you’re giving in return might be helpful.

      if I had more money, I would be trying to take people in constantly, so I’ve been more trusting of these kinds of situations than I ought to be and gotten into trouble. but I am that kind of person, and I know there are others, and some of them probably have money. so maybe it’s legit.