• You999@sh.itjust.works
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    8 months ago

    **in a non ADHD brain

    Stimulates are not as addictive for people suffering from ADHD because it physically effects us differently. If you have ADHD then you have issues with negatively skewed dopamine responses and stimulates help by inhibiting the reuptake of dopamine causing the dopamaturgic response to seem more powerful than what it is (because again I can’t stress this enough the dopamine response does not function correctly) (source)

    • MrShankles@reddthat.com
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      8 months ago

      I’ve taken Adderall for over a decade now and am still able to stop taking it on a dime. I recently took a 3 month break (because I wasn’t working) and was able to instead, lean on my “trusty coping skills” that I learned as a kid.

      I have a bit of an addictive personality (still need to quit smoking (again)), but Adderall isn’t an issue of addiction for me… just an issue of how much easier it is to function. But I’m ADHD, so I guess it checks out.

      Appreciate the source! I never did fully look into it.

        • MrShankles@reddthat.com
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          8 months ago

          I really really wish I could… I can try as much as I want, but I really wish I had words for it. It’s complicated, and I truly wish there were a silver bullet, but I got lucky

          I think “breathing” has become one of the most important things I’ve learned. Didn’t honestly realize “breathing” was such a big part of me dealing with things until I was already an adult (realized in my 30’s)

          When I was little, I was prone to “tantrum throwing”; but I wasn’t “allowed” to do that (not just by fear of consequences, but it hurt my feelings afterward). While I was in a tantrum and wanted to break the world, people whom I loved were calm with me; trying to make me realize that it didn’t make a difference, no matter how much I raged… and it kinda broke me

          I had to learn how to control my “rage” and my emotions. And I kinda think (now) that I learned how to do that by breathing through it; cause it didn’t matter if I threw a fit or not, the outcome was ultimately the same. The only person hurting was me, because of me… regardless of what set me off. My headaches, face-red, violent thought, shaking mad at the unfairness; it was all dependent on me and whether I chose to let it take over me or not.

          And it turned out that (to me) “love” didn’t care how physically strong I wanted to be… how angry I could be. “Love” was patient with me and waited for me. “It” didn’t care how big I acted… it just waited. It pretty much broke me and my childhood tantrums/rage, and I started fostering patience… not easily, but steadily.

          Instead of wanting to punch down a brick wall… I breathed through it. If you pissed me off… I paused, and breathed before responding. Breathing is about the best I got, but I try to choose that over losing control and hurting my own head.

          Fast-forward to being an adult: I had learned a lot of emotional control. I still have that rage and I wish I didn’t; but I do my best to breathe through it. And spoiler alert: I don’t always win. I would LIKE to break that brick wall (cause I’m strong/mad/worthwhile/something to prove), but I’ll only hurt myself in the end and help no one else. It’s a lose-lose for me to lose control. So I breathe and try not to engage with my racing thoughts

          But I did learn triggers. I hate looking for shit… I can’t stand it. I don’t want to waste 2 seconds of my life looking for my keys or wallet. I only have so much patience and my brain is already against me trying to focus. So my wallet and keys are in the same place EVERY time without fail. It they aren’t… I better start breathing while I search. I have to remember “patience” and “breathing” while I try to focus

          I use earplugs when I’m overwhelmed by sounds and stimulus. Just 5 minutes of silence and (once again) breathing; and then I can usually resume my thoughts.

          I finally allowed myself to ask my doctor for an anti-anxiety medication (klonopin for me) when I was 33. I didn’t want to be addicted or crutched, and wanted to be able to deal with it like I always did… but I really wish I would have asked for help sooner. I felt silly when I realized how much it helped. I felt silly when i realized how much Adderall helped. I didn’t want to “rely on a crutch”, because I had learned (over many years) how to rely on me. And I felt silly… dumb… ignorant… stupid for wasting so much energy fighting against my own damn head

          I need my things (like my wallet, keys, toothbrush, hairtie, etc) to be in the same place EVERY TIME, so I don’t have to waste focus on finding them. If they get moved; I try to breath through it while I find them

          If things get “noisy” and overwhelming, I pop in some earplugs for a few minutes; and I sit in silence and breath.

          When I want to just POP!, because my brain doesn’t let me move forward and adjust… more breathing.

          I lose things, as I’m finding/gathering other things; I get frustrated because I can’t hear or because I hear too much; I forget faces, names, thoughts, ideas, or sometimes blank completely; I get frustrated. I get angry because I’m frustrated. And it ain’t nobody’s fault how I feel or why I feel… it’s something I have to deal with as best I can. So I breathe through it the best I can

          It sucks. It really fucking sucks sometimes. But it’s also ok. Sometimes it’s beautiful, and sometimes it’s awful; the way my brain works. But it’s mostly ok.

          And I’m ok with that. I like me (enough). I just have to really remember and remind myself to breathe sometimes. It’s ok. I’m ok. Look at all these little good things happening all around me, all of the time. Let me try and be a part of that little bit of good. Inhale. Exhale. I’m ok

          TL;DR - I use breathing exercises, routine, and mental gymnastics. It’ll all end up the same in the end, so I might as well try and enjoy the “good things” that feel more than superficial… for as long as I can. Cause fuck it; the only person it matters to is me, in the end. I guess it is what I make it

      • NightAuthor@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        Russell Barkley is a top researcher in the field (well, was, recently retired) who now makes videos on state of the art research on ADHD. He definitely has a few videos on stimulants.

        Also, Adderall or other adhd meds may help your self control to stop smoking.

        • MrShankles@reddthat.com
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          8 months ago

          I appreciate the info, I’ma have to look him up and his research. I would like to try Vyvanse now that they have a generic version; see if it planes me out a little better. I did quit smoking for 2 years once, so I know I can do it again. It’s kind of a mental gymnastics thing lol

        • MrShankles@reddthat.com
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          8 months ago

          I say “addictive personality”, but it’s absolutely genetics (or highly genetically linked). It’s like being aware that your family has a history of cardiac issues… mine has a history of addiction. I should try and retrain my brain to say, “I have a family history of addiction”. But I appreciate the read!

    • webghost0101@sopuli.xyz
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      8 months ago

      Risking to repeat myself, but this is exactly why medical cannabis is a valid option.

      The dopamine/reward processes in your brain are controlled by the inherint endocannabinoid-system. More and more evidence exist that many neurodivergent people (including adhd, autism and even schizophrenia) suffer a lack or imbalance to native endocannabinoids. I firmly believe the right mix (which should be the personalized for each person) can do almost Miracles to our well being, focus and ability to function.

      • MrShankles@reddthat.com
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        8 months ago

        If only I could use medical cannabis as an adjunct therapy. It helps me tremendously, but my license board won’t get on the same page as medical science. If I got prescribed, it would still put my license at risk :(

          • MrShankles@reddthat.com
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            8 months ago

            Maybe? A higher thc ratio helps me more and I’m not quite sure if mixing delta 8 and cbd would help me in my daily life. It’d probably be good to help me sleep, but that’s not really an issue of mine.

            But I’m not sure, I just keep holding out for a time when it’s legal and I can try different blends/ratios that would actually help, without fear of trace amounts of thc popping up in a test. It becomes an anxiety issue because it’s tied to my career/livelihood, and kinda defeats a key aspect of how it helps. It’s all dumbshit in the end

            • Darthwonka@mastodon.world
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              8 months ago

              @MrShankles

              1to1 thc/cbd is amazing for reducing the angst and pain.

              Agreed 100%. That the concerns over federal legality is still an issue with employment. Thanks , in part, to the race war and the pharmaceutical lobby. (My opinion)

              • MrShankles@reddthat.com
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                8 months ago

                I enjoy a little higher thc to cbd ratio (personally) if I’m going to be up and about, but it entirely depends on what’s going on with me that day. Sometimes I need something more chill; and having the option is what I would absolutely love.

                My current option is: whatever I can find, plus the underlying anxiety I get if I choose to indulge (because of job fear). And we are very much of the same opinion about why it’s still federally illegal

        • webghost0101@sopuli.xyz
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          8 months ago

          While it is possible to find consistent weed of a certain cannabinoid profile, a real medicine would be a custom personalized mix after having your own endocannabinoid profile measured.

          If your buying random strains from a friend i need to disappointed you, while it can alleviate some systems long term its probable not helping all that much and reinforcing a bad habit.

          As a general rule, “medical” requires consistency, in both product and dose…. Which is also what the original post here is kinda about. We came full circle.

          • Doof@lemmy.world
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            8 months ago

            I mean I have my medical card on top of living in a place that it’s legal. There is plenty of anecdotal information that I hope one day matches the research. Because as much as I believe in the qualities of weed I also understand we don’t have the hard data yet. Is there some positive outcomes from research sure and some bad as well. All come to inconclusive. Unless you have data saying otherwise?

            I’ve smoked for years and am mostly fine , my aunt smoked and it triggered her psychosis. Do we know it was the weed, not 100% but we don’t know otherwise as well.

            Though the original comment was a flippant comment about me so, It’s still what I tell MYSELF.