You seriously think you can know a person from just a few moments of interaction?
You can tell enough to know whether they’re safe to be around.
Women will get into relationships with men who seem lovely at first, and then they turn abusive as soon as they get married because they believe they’ve had her tied down enough so she won’t leave.
Yes. As I said: Women have shit threat and personality radars. Many of those women probably were warned by men they knew. If they weren’t, then probably because people knew they wouldn’t listen.
So many people are great at masking their true thoughts and intentions.
Those look like they’re hiding something.
Seriously, this is a skill issue. Learn to relate to people. Get therapy if need be.
It’s naive to think that women who manage to not end up willingly entering relationship after relationship with abusive assholes are somehow just getting lucky. If it was a matter of chance you’d see a more even distribution but the distribution is lopsided, thus, it has to be a skill issue.
But if princess prefers to believe that she is too precious to acquire skills, that the world will bend to her dreams and wishes… I can only hope that luck will follow her around.
It doesn’t make you a poor judge of character to be lied to. Lying is easy. I hope for your sake you can continue to sit in the place of privilege, and not be deceived by someone you care about. That is an ignorance I wish on everyone.
It doesn’t make you a poor judge of character to be lied to. Lying is easy.
Oh no! It is impossible to tell if someone’s lying because it’s impossible to assess someone’s honesty because it’s impossible to emphasise with people!
That is an ignorance I wish on everyone.
Why would you be so cruel. In a healthy developmental process, you get lied to by your parents about the location of your nose so that you learn to not be too trusting. No, they didn’t actually steal it and yes, they did have tells.
What about “here is how you’ll be safer, how you’ll lead a nicer life, yes a safer and nicer life is possible” is victim blaming. I’m not blaming you for being fucked up, I’m encouraging you to fix it. If that offends you then you have deeper issues than assholes existing in the world.
It’s not your fault that society is fucked up, that interpersonal alienation is rampant, that people wear masks so heavy that they lose the capacity to see other people’s masks, but it would be your fault if it stays that way because the one you wear is your responsibility.
I don’t need to fix anything because I am not the problem. Historically, systemically and individually I am not the problem. I will continue to go about my life with my eyes wide open with risk assessment. I’m happy for you that you’re safe but I’m sad that you don’t seem able to listen to what all the women (and some men) in these comments are saying.
I will continue to go about my life with my eyes wide open with risk assessment.
It was you who asked, and I quote:
How can you tell which is which when they’re all dressed as men?
Which means you do have (not “are”) a problem: You can’t distinguish assholes from non-assholes. Or how else am I to interpret that question?
You asked for advise about the topic. I pointed you into directions and now somehow I’m the bad guy? I’m the asshole for providing you with information you, specifically, asked for? You’re accusing me of not listening to you because I answered your question?
If you want emotional support, ask for emotional support, don’t ask for solutions. I actually thought male-female relationships had evolved past that particular point of misunderstanding but it seems they haven’t.
When your response is “if in doubt, ask a man you trust” and women have shit threat radars, “tickling”.
Those are not solutions.
I wasn’t asking for solutions or emotional support.
Quick recap for you:
“How can you tell which is which when they’re all dressed as men?”
And then you responded withpatronising incorrect victim blaming bullshit 👏👏👏
You’re basically advocating the missing stair which is all kinda of fucked up. But also! Evidently men don’t know which one of you are risk factors - many of you don’t even see a risk.
It was a rhetorical question for reasons that you can’t or won’t understand.
Granted. They’re mere pointers in the right direction. Have you ever considered asking your brother, or a trusted colleague, about another man’s character? You’d be surprised how open and forthcoming the answer will be.
But also! Evidently men don’t know which one of you are risk factors - many of you don’t even see a risk.
Based on what evidence? Have you actually seeked that information, or are you assuming?
It was a rhetorical question for reasons that you can’t or won’t understand.
I understand the reason to be a function of your psychology. You were seeking reinforcement in your belief that it is justifiable to distrust all men.
Enough. Women are supposed to have a man they trust on hand at all times to check if each man they encounter is safe to respond to freely? A chaperone who knows all these random men on the street who harass?
Like it’s all fine because men can recommend a friend.
You don’t comprehend my original point and subsequently you’re not really responding to it. That’s fine, you carry on but I realise you’re either a troll or completely naive or just being obtuse. cba anymore. Have a good day.
Women are supposed to have a man they trust on hand at all times
That’s a completely new sentence.
You’re perfectly free to, I in fact encouraged it a million times in this thread, to unfuck your own threat radar. You can do that on your own, you can do it with help from others, either sex, only people I’d advise to stay away from are a) women who have a history of getting into abusive relationships or are abusers themselves and b) men you don’t trust, and, generally, c) neurotic people. Take the judgements of people other than those, compare and contrast them with your and other people’s judgements, compare reasoning and what specifically people are pointing out about the person in question, collect data. Given enough of that your own capacities will unlock.
I said “if in doubt”. That is, if you are not sure of your own capacity to judge, a trusted man is going to be a way out of that situation because have you ever looked at violent crime statistics? How the vast majority of victims are men? We have plenty of reason to develop good threat radars. Don’t think for a second my neck hairs don’t stand on end when meeting a character like Andrew Tate in the street: Insecure, irritable, full of himself yet constantly seeking approval, a ticking time bomb on first sight. These two guys? Complete opposite. Sure you don’t want to fuck with them but I don’t want to, anyway, so that’s a nothingburger.
You can tell enough to know whether they’re safe to be around.
Yes. As I said: Women have shit threat and personality radars. Many of those women probably were warned by men they knew. If they weren’t, then probably because people knew they wouldn’t listen.
Those look like they’re hiding something.
Seriously, this is a skill issue. Learn to relate to people. Get therapy if need be.
lol. like I said… really fucking naive.
It’s naive to think that women who manage to not end up willingly entering relationship after relationship with abusive assholes are somehow just getting lucky. If it was a matter of chance you’d see a more even distribution but the distribution is lopsided, thus, it has to be a skill issue.
But if princess prefers to believe that she is too precious to acquire skills, that the world will bend to her dreams and wishes… I can only hope that luck will follow her around.
Do you have any women in your life with good judgment?
Yes.
and you’re a trustworthy man?
No. I could tickle you out of nowhere.
Fuck me. Victim blaming 101 here.
Not to mention plain old being an idiot.
I mean, I knew my ex for a year before we married and he was fine until a couple years into our marriage. And I’m generally a good judge of character.
No you aren’t. You just admitted so yourself.
It doesn’t make you a poor judge of character to be lied to. Lying is easy. I hope for your sake you can continue to sit in the place of privilege, and not be deceived by someone you care about. That is an ignorance I wish on everyone.
Oh no! It is impossible to tell if someone’s lying because it’s impossible to assess someone’s honesty because it’s impossible to emphasise with people!
Why would you be so cruel. In a healthy developmental process, you get lied to by your parents about the location of your nose so that you learn to not be too trusting. No, they didn’t actually steal it and yes, they did have tells.
You’re very young, aren’t you.
Old enough to have a nose hair trimmer but thanks for the compliment.
It isn’t a compliment, just optimism.
What about “here is how you’ll be safer, how you’ll lead a nicer life, yes a safer and nicer life is possible” is victim blaming. I’m not blaming you for being fucked up, I’m encouraging you to fix it. If that offends you then you have deeper issues than assholes existing in the world.
It’s not your fault that society is fucked up, that interpersonal alienation is rampant, that people wear masks so heavy that they lose the capacity to see other people’s masks, but it would be your fault if it stays that way because the one you wear is your responsibility.
I don’t need to fix anything because I am not the problem. Historically, systemically and individually I am not the problem. I will continue to go about my life with my eyes wide open with risk assessment. I’m happy for you that you’re safe but I’m sad that you don’t seem able to listen to what all the women (and some men) in these comments are saying.
It was you who asked, and I quote:
Which means you do have (not “are”) a problem: You can’t distinguish assholes from non-assholes. Or how else am I to interpret that question?
You asked for advise about the topic. I pointed you into directions and now somehow I’m the bad guy? I’m the asshole for providing you with information you, specifically, asked for? You’re accusing me of not listening to you because I answered your question?
If you want emotional support, ask for emotional support, don’t ask for solutions. I actually thought male-female relationships had evolved past that particular point of misunderstanding but it seems they haven’t.
When your response is “if in doubt, ask a man you trust” and women have shit threat radars, “tickling”. Those are not solutions.
I wasn’t asking for solutions or emotional support.
Quick recap for you: “How can you tell which is which when they’re all dressed as men?” And then you responded withpatronising incorrect victim blaming bullshit 👏👏👏 You’re basically advocating the missing stair which is all kinda of fucked up. But also! Evidently men don’t know which one of you are risk factors - many of you don’t even see a risk.
It was a rhetorical question for reasons that you can’t or won’t understand.
Granted. They’re mere pointers in the right direction. Have you ever considered asking your brother, or a trusted colleague, about another man’s character? You’d be surprised how open and forthcoming the answer will be.
Based on what evidence? Have you actually seeked that information, or are you assuming?
I understand the reason to be a function of your psychology. You were seeking reinforcement in your belief that it is justifiable to distrust all men.
Enough. Women are supposed to have a man they trust on hand at all times to check if each man they encounter is safe to respond to freely? A chaperone who knows all these random men on the street who harass? Like it’s all fine because men can recommend a friend.
You don’t comprehend my original point and subsequently you’re not really responding to it. That’s fine, you carry on but I realise you’re either a troll or completely naive or just being obtuse. cba anymore. Have a good day.
That’s a completely new sentence.
You’re perfectly free to, I in fact encouraged it a million times in this thread, to unfuck your own threat radar. You can do that on your own, you can do it with help from others, either sex, only people I’d advise to stay away from are a) women who have a history of getting into abusive relationships or are abusers themselves and b) men you don’t trust, and, generally, c) neurotic people. Take the judgements of people other than those, compare and contrast them with your and other people’s judgements, compare reasoning and what specifically people are pointing out about the person in question, collect data. Given enough of that your own capacities will unlock.
I said “if in doubt”. That is, if you are not sure of your own capacity to judge, a trusted man is going to be a way out of that situation because have you ever looked at violent crime statistics? How the vast majority of victims are men? We have plenty of reason to develop good threat radars. Don’t think for a second my neck hairs don’t stand on end when meeting a character like Andrew Tate in the street: Insecure, irritable, full of himself yet constantly seeking approval, a ticking time bomb on first sight. These two guys? Complete opposite. Sure you don’t want to fuck with them but I don’t want to, anyway, so that’s a nothingburger.