My dad did this to me once when I was a kid. I was helping bring in the groceries and was carrying as much as I could (which was a lot, but obviously not more than I could handle) and my dad told me it was a “lazy man’s load” that pissed me off pretty badly. I was helping dickhead. I can’t remember almost anything from my childhood, but I’ll never forget that shitty comment.
That’s so weird. Even today I try to get as many grocery bags upstairs as I can in one go, because who wants to bother with the back and forth if they don’t have to? There’s an art to managing six bags of heavy groceries across your arms, a relief that I can get all the cold and frozen things put away sooner, and the natural reward of being able to move onto another activity more quickly. I fail to see what’s wrong with being efficient with chores and errands.
Just as an example - when you’re on a limited income and the kid just dropped the eggs and broke all of them because they insisted they weren’t carrying too much but that was the budgeted eggs for the week.
Then you’ll learn why your parents were asking you to do that chore in a specific way.
I wouldn’t call a kid lazy because I think they might break the chickens’ menstrual discharge. I’d let them make the mistake first, and then remind them next time if they kept overdoing it. Kids need to make mistakes, it’s part of growing up and learning.
when I was a kid. I was helping bring in the groceries and was carrying as much as I could (which was a lot, but obviously not more than I could handle)
Y’know that children are notoriously bad at judging things like that, right? Obviously I don’t know the guy, but I would have easily said this as a joke at how many things my kid was trying to carry at once even though that ups the odds of dropping and breaking things.
If children are notoriously bad at judging things like that, then it’s on the adults around them to recognize that fact and adjust their responses accordingly.
My mom didn’t care that her “jokes” upset me, she just told me I had to “learn to laugh at myself.” But I didn’t have the self esteem to do that, nor the ability to see her point from her adult perspective. So to me, it just sounded like my mom was bullying me and dismissing my concerns the same way kids at school did.
Humans are pretty bad at communication and there are a bunch of different ways a joke like that could have landed and it’s all dependent on the people involved.
One person’s joke to gently point out that their kid is probably grabbing too much stuff can easily be another person’s brusque and dismissive comment about their kid being lazy.
I’m sorry that your feelings were hurt by your mom.
I love my dad, but he is an asshole. Knowing him as an adult, I feel confident it was a shitty comment and not a lighthearted joke. But yeah, I was a kid so 🤷
My dad did this to me once when I was a kid. I was helping bring in the groceries and was carrying as much as I could (which was a lot, but obviously not more than I could handle) and my dad told me it was a “lazy man’s load” that pissed me off pretty badly. I was helping dickhead. I can’t remember almost anything from my childhood, but I’ll never forget that shitty comment.
That’s so weird. Even today I try to get as many grocery bags upstairs as I can in one go, because who wants to bother with the back and forth if they don’t have to? There’s an art to managing six bags of heavy groceries across your arms, a relief that I can get all the cold and frozen things put away sooner, and the natural reward of being able to move onto another activity more quickly. I fail to see what’s wrong with being efficient with chores and errands.
Just as an example - when you’re on a limited income and the kid just dropped the eggs and broke all of them because they insisted they weren’t carrying too much but that was the budgeted eggs for the week.
Then you’ll learn why your parents were asking you to do that chore in a specific way.
I wouldn’t call a kid lazy because I think they might break the chickens’ menstrual discharge. I’d let them make the mistake first, and then remind them next time if they kept overdoing it. Kids need to make mistakes, it’s part of growing up and learning.
Y’know that children are notoriously bad at judging things like that, right? Obviously I don’t know the guy, but I would have easily said this as a joke at how many things my kid was trying to carry at once even though that ups the odds of dropping and breaking things.
If children are notoriously bad at judging things like that, then it’s on the adults around them to recognize that fact and adjust their responses accordingly.
My mom didn’t care that her “jokes” upset me, she just told me I had to “learn to laugh at myself.” But I didn’t have the self esteem to do that, nor the ability to see her point from her adult perspective. So to me, it just sounded like my mom was bullying me and dismissing my concerns the same way kids at school did.
Humans are pretty bad at communication and there are a bunch of different ways a joke like that could have landed and it’s all dependent on the people involved.
One person’s joke to gently point out that their kid is probably grabbing too much stuff can easily be another person’s brusque and dismissive comment about their kid being lazy.
I’m sorry that your feelings were hurt by your mom.
Thank you. It’s true, context is important. Some dynamics might allow for a back and forth.
Overall, I just wish more adults would recognize the impacts their words can have on their kids. Once trust is gone, it’s hard to rebuild.
I love my dad, but he is an asshole. Knowing him as an adult, I feel confident it was a shitty comment and not a lighthearted joke. But yeah, I was a kid so 🤷