Its been almost 3 months since ive picked up my guitar. I have to play a show next week and I do not give a fuck about it at all. My band has more or less stopped talking to each other, and I have not felt compelled to play my instrument in months despite owning thousands of dollars worth of shit.
I hate other musicians, I hate playing shows in this city, I hate all the big bands in this city, this city can lick my taint.
Only thing is, ive been doing this thing for 10 years, official anniversary is this coming july, and i dont know that I want to stop completely. I feel like I would be letting people in my life down outside of the band itself. My partner, my friends, my family, and to some extent myself.
I dont know what to do and I want to cry and scream
Sounds like you are burned out. An indefinite hiatus might be necessary. Music, like any art, requires your soul to be in it to truly create something great. If your hearts not in it you can’t force it to be. Just lay it all on the table and have a heart to heart with these people by expressing the feelings you mentioned in the post. If they care for your well being then they will come to accept it.
Sorry for your situation Corgi its never easy losing passion for something you love.